Chances Are
by CupcakesREvil
Summary: There are so many possibilities that can happen just because of one person's choice, and even more if said person was very influential –in a good way of coarse– . So, what happens when a Tyrant's decision with a small, albino grub has an effect on a dangerous game called Sburb/Sgrub, Earth, and the perspectives of some?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Fake Names Count…Right?!**

'_GRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!_'

'_Stop, she didn't do anything! Stop!_'

'_Sedate them! They must not escape!_'

'_Leave us __**ALONE!**_'

**== Be the scared-shitless boy.**

You are now the scared-shitless boy. Holy fuck, how the hell are you not having a heart attack?! Your heart rate is off the charts and you just might pop a blood vessel if you don't calm down!

**== Boy, calm down.**

After many practiced breathing exercises and thrusting yourself deep into your happy place –overflowing rivers of pudding always does the trick–, you finally calmed the fuck down. Seriously, you should stop falling asleep on the human bed. It's not only uncomfortable, it's also scaring the fucking shit out of you with bad memories. Too bad you can get so tired to the point that you could easily fall asleep while standing up.

Since you calmed down, why don't we give you a name?

**== Enter name: Worthless piece of –**

**BANG!**

Oh, what now?

Panicking, you dash out of your room, forgetting to dress, and down the stairs. You head for the basement, already feeling jumpy once you spot a wisp of smoke leaking out of the corner of the door. You then kick the door open, accidently ripping it from its hinges. Fuck, you might have to fix that later… Maybe you can reinforce it as well?... Nah. Too much money, too much time, and no motive what-so-ever to be doing more complicated shit. You might as well just use duct tape for now.

Once you're done contemplating about your door, you bounce down the stairs, taking two steps at a time. When you get down there though, you can't help but groan. In the middle of your trashed lair is a large, burnt-out crater, having a medium sized box covered in multicolored grub sauce handprints… God, you hope that's grub sauce. Oh, look! A note!

**== Boy, read.**

DEAR Past Me,

YOU'RE probably wondering why I sent you this, and this is really important! HONESTLY! YOU will need these in the future, but not yet! THEY will be of great use in future fights, so remember to keep them in your Strife sylladex. THE gloves have a special function that has random weapons pop out every time you summon these bad boys. BUT, that's only when you put them on the red setting, the green setting just lets you pick which weapon to use (I would recommend the red setting, trust me, it'll be handy). ALSO, make sure to keep an extra pudding cup! BOTH of us will need it…

FROM,

Future You.

P.S: NO… It's not grub sauce…

**== Boy, open box.**

You got specialized, titanium lined boots and gloves! Shit, you'll feel bad for anyone who gets hit with these things. But, they're so cool! I mean, **look** at them, they're a silvery black and have chain link sleeves with little skulls on them! They are _so_ badass!

**== Boy, put gift in Strife Deck.**

You have now equipped the gloves and boots in your Strife Deck. You probably should name them later to describe their bad-assery. Is that a word? Oh, fuck it. It describes them perfectly anyhow.

**== Resume introduction.**

Oh right! We haven't given you a name yet! To cut to the chase, why don't you tell us your name? We already wasted enough time already!

**== Enter name: Jaalas ****_?_**

…What's with the question mark?... Oh, you don't have a real last name do you? You flop to the floor in shame, wallowing in self-pity –platonically of course–. You hadn't really gotten a last name since you were orphaned at…one, two sweeps? Oh well, you go by the pseudonym of '_Jack Spicer_' anyways, so it's not a big deal, right?...Right?!...We'll just go by Jack Spicer for now.

**== Jack, get dressed.**

You look down at yourself quickly, blushing like the idiot you are. You were so panicked by the explosion that you forgot you slept naked. Why were you naked? Why? At least you still have your cloaking device on, you'd be screwed if someone found out what you were, especially since you don't really have to same sort of, er, _equipment_ as humans.

After changing into you 'signature' outfit and putting on your makeup, you check your inventory of pudding. You have… only two cups left?! Blasphemy! You now have to order more of the creamy goodness soon, or you'll seriously flip your shit if you went cold turkey on the only thing that's keeping you sane… Well, not the only thing, but you're still having your Transportalizer being made and it hurts when you use your other invention, the … What did you name it again? Anyways, it really hurts and limits the time of your visits, not to mention that it randomizes on what time you are in when you travel with it. Luckily, your visits haven't contradicted in the order of your arrival, so you got to see your best friend grow up… And save his ass when his moirail wasn't there at the moment.

After calling the delivery service for your special brand of pudding, you head back to your room.

**Brrriiiing!**

Or at least you were. "Damn 'Wu Finder… What is it this time?"

**== Jack, view computer.**

On the screen shows what looks like a silver window frame with a reflective sheen on the glass. Wow, it looks so… boring. Is this really worthy enough to have your ass kicked? Again? You sigh, knowing the Xiaolin Brats would ransack your mansion again if you don't show up. You really are getting tired of this. I mean, c'mon! Not only do you have to act like a complete obnoxious moron that is too fucking stubborn to quit the impossible task of retrieving 'wu –and constantly getting beat up afterwards despite either outcome–, you have to deal with the Xiaolin Brats constantly robbing you of the wu that you actually **won** _fair and square_. It's ridiculous, you thought they were the 'good guys'!

Good guys your white, indecisive ass.

**== Jack, get your ass over there.**

"Okay, okay! Sheesh." Not really understanding how there's a voice talking to you, you activate your Jack-Bots, go outside, and start up your helipack.

**== Skip to two hours later.**

Shit! The Xiaolin Brats, Chase, and Wuya is already there! Just your luck! Not only do you receive a beating from twelve year old brats, you get to hear an insult from the local douchebag and have a slutty bitch tell you off even when you aren't working together.

**== Jack, suppress urge to sigh sorrowfully.**

You barely but surely succeed in suppressing your sigh. Barely. It really is hard to act like a dumbass. It's hard, and no one understands…

Oh, well. Might as well keep the act up!

Giving an obnoxious laugh, you make your entrance. "What's up, Xiaolin losers!?"

"Jack Spicah!" Figures that cheese ball responds first. "Prepare to be defeated!" You roll your eyes, pretty bored of how he keeps on repeating that phrase every. Time. They. _Meet_. It's bordering dangerously on annoying. "Yeah, yeah, cheeseball. I heard you last time."

You look down at them and realize you made a mistake. You usually would have replied with obnoxious banter before sending the Jack Bots on them. Now they're exchanging confused looks with each other, definitely put off from your behavior.

**== Jack, proceed backup excuse.**

You quickly rub your forehead exasperatingly, feigning tiredness. "Can we cut to the chase? I woke up with this killer headache and I really want to get back to repairing my Jack Bots." The monks seemed to have taken the bait, though you can see that both Chase and Wuya exchange suspicious glances.

You really hope they don't try anything.

**== Jack, look for 'Wu.**

Looking around, you see something glittering in the trees. Putting your helipac into full speed, you zoom to the shiny object. "Pchoooooooo!" You have no idea where the hell that came from. You soon see the object that dares call itself a 'Wu. You are excited when you see no one near the piece of shit and reach out desperately towards it. Almost–

God Fucking Dammit! The same cheeseball and Chase have their hands, along with yours, on the stupid thing. You inwardly groan, knowing what this means.

"Gong Yi Tanpai!"

**== Jack, proceed to have your ass handed to you.**

You succeed at miserably losing the Xiaolin Showdown by being tossed around like a ragdoll and literally kicked out of the fighting ring. You have mixed emotions about this. On one hand, you feel anger for having to act like a total, wimpy dumbass. On another, you feel proud you were able to endure that without fucking it and proceeding to bash their skulls in.

You pick yourself off the ground, grateful that the cheeseball was able to win the 'Wu instead of Chase, mainly because that arrogant douchebag is who you hate more than anything. I mean, seriously, who the hell tries to feed their 'apprentices' to dinosaurs?!

**== Jack, listen in.**

You are confused for a second. Listen in to what? You look around and spot the Xiaolin Brats talking with their tiny dragon, the cheeseball examining the 'Wu curiously. You hold in a snort. The dragon hadn't told them the shitty object's function yet? You slowly walk towards them unnoticed, either being ignored or in the assumption of being unconscious. Knowing them, you assume the later.

"…so what is this thing anyways?" The scroll that they have is rolled out on the ground infront of them, coming to life and acting out its function. "It's called the Memory Mirror. It actually would give you access to any person's memory by a given name and let you scroll through their lives at will. It came in handy when Dashi forgot where he stashed the other 'Wu."

Your eyes feel like they're gonna pop out of their sockets –you know how it feels well, so you try to calm. You fail miserably to not shake violently. Shit. Shit. _Shiiiiit_. If they tried calling your name with the 'Wu, you'll be so screwed if they try to get answers.

**== Jack, abscond the fuck out of there.**

You obey immediately to the weird voice and use your helipac to fly away like hell. When you look back, you don't see them looking back at you, so you think it's safe. But you don't see Chase nor Wuya… You really don't know whether to be relieved or scared shitless.

As you travel, your portable 'Wu finder/watch/walkie talkie/computer gives a loud '**BLEEP!BLEEP!BLEEP!–**' yeah, you should probably switch your ringtone sooner or later. The pitch is actually starting to hurt your ears. Scrolling through the apps you installed in your multipurpose wristwatch, you notice someone is trying to reach you in Pesterchum. Opening the window, you break into a full out grin once you see who it is.

**== Jack, answer.**

- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling whiteChimera [WC] -

CA: hey jaal you there

CA: this is reely important

CA: an i think the room is startin to spin

CA: jaal

WC: YEAH, yeah, I'm here. SORRY for the holdup, I just had to take 'the pill' again.

CA: already

CA: i still don't get wwhy you take that shit or howw the fuck you havvent smashed their faces in yet

WC: IT still remains a mystery. EVEN to me.

WC: ANYWAYS, do you need anything? IT should still be nighttime where you are. ARE you alright?

CA: wwell

WC: WELL…?

CA: imightagotmyselfstuckbecauseiwwasjumpininsideonthatglubforsakentrampolineyousentsoidontknowwhowwtogetdowwnbecausemyscarfhaswwrappeditselfaroundmeandimstartintogetdizzyso

CA: please

After deciphering the mumbo-jumbo that Eridam typed, you burst out laughing. You knew he was going to be a stubborn ass and start jumping on the thing. You just _knew_ it. After calming back down, though still giggling a bit, you get back to your friend, seeing he typed in some more.

CA: you still there

CA: youre laughin your ass off arent you

WC: YEAH, just-

WC: LET me catch my breath.

WC: SO…

WC: YOU want me to come and get you down?

CA: yes

WC: ALRIGHT. JUST let me get to the mansion. I left the teleporting thingy in the reinforced safe.

CA: teleportin thingy

WC: SHUT up! I temporarily forgot what I called it!

WC: ANYWAYS, just hold on and I'll try to arrive around your time….

WC: WHAT is your current time?

CA: oddly twwo perigees exactly from your last livve vvisit

WC: OK! I'M on my way!

- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling whiteChimera [WC] -

**== Jack, arrive home.**

This place isn't really your home, but you still made it in less than five minutes. Now to business.

You speed down the steps to the basement, soon passing your large computer and taking a sharp turn around the back table before you scoot behind the large cabinet that held all the 'precious' 'Wu. PFFT. Yeah right. You seriously want to know what in the world possessed Dashi to make these shitty things. Maybe you can shove it up his- oh, you're here.

The safe itself isn't really complicated on the outside, but the deceptive thing is actually made up of the hardest materials you know, making up three layers of the 4x4x4 box. You are actually pretty proud of this piece, especially since you actually made this when you were two sweeps old. And you didn't have some shitty book telling you how to make one as well, upping the points of how much you are proud.

After typing in the code –who'd think that you would put 'Fuck Off' as a password– you bring the shitty transporter out. This, _now __**this**_, is what you're ashamed of. At first, you though it was an ingenious invention, that is, until you actually tried it out.

Taking a deep breath, you set the coordinates, cross your fingers, and activated it.

**So how was it? Great, meh, or a piece of crap? This probably will turn into a series, so choose carefully. I want your completely honest opinion, and maybe suggestions when I'm starting to lose inspiration. In the next chapter, I may include Eridan's point of view in order to give a better grasp on what's going on. Anyways, wish me good luck!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter will include a recap in a different point of view, so if you want to skip it, go ahead.**

**Chapter 2:** **It's Hard. It's Hard and No One Understands But Eridan.**

**== Jack, proceed to feel like shit.**

When you use the shitty transporter, it feels like someone skinned you alive, stabbed you repeatedly with a dagger, and then stapled your skin back on you. You are definably familiar with the feeling, and it's exactly the reason why you didn't make one for your friend, even though he repeatedly pleaded for one. Yeah, you really loathe the transporter.

Shaking off the queasy feeling in your stomach, you move on in search of your friend.

**== Jack, be the stuck seatroll 10 minutes ago.**

You are now the stuck seatroll, and you feel like a total idiot. Jaalas has warned you of using the mini trampoline inside the ship-hive, but did you listen? No, you had to be a stubborn seagoat and jump on the thing anyway. But in your defense, you can't really take it outside unless you want to be spotted laughing like the idiot you are and be answering some awkward questions on what you were doing and what the hell the trampoline is. Your species couldn't invent something similar to it could they?

Since your arms are currently pined by your scarf, it was a long process of wriggling out the backup phone that Jaalas insisted you keep. She really knows you in a way that's endearing, even though she can be overly fussy like a lusus at times.

After successfully retrieving the phone, you curl up to view the screen, quickly unlocking it, accessing Trollian, and tapping on her username in urgency when you started to suddenly feel dizzy.

- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling whiteChimera [WC] -

CA: hey jaal you there

CA: this is reely important

CA: an i think the room is startin to spin

CA: jaal

You wait for a while, worried that she was out of commission due to the Xiaolin Brats. You feel relieved, however, once you see her signature color on the screen.

WC: YEAH, yeah, I'm here. SORRY for the holdup, I just had to take 'the pill' again.

CA: already

CA: i still don't get wwhy you take that shit or howw the fuck you havvent smashed their faces in yet

WC: IT still remains a mystery. EVEN to me.

You pause at this to admire her odd response. You probably would have went shithive maggots on them before even a good week in.

WC: ANYWAYS, do you need anything? IT should still be nighttime where you are. ARE you alright?

You actually start to hesitate, feeling embarrassed that you actually had to explain this to her.

CA: wwell

WC: WELL…?

CA: imightagotmyselfstuckbecauseiwwasjumpininsideonthatglubforsakentrampolineyousentsoidontknowwhowwtogetdowwnbecausemyscarfhaswwrappeditselfaroundmeandimstartintogetdizzyso

You realized you were holding your breath, not at all helping with the dizziness, so you force yourself to breathe deeply and try to fight the white spots in your eyes.

CA: please

You wait for a while, blinking rapidly, feeling slightly uneasy.

CA: you still there

After waiting a full minute, you feel very foolish but relieved that she didn't take her time or suddenly leave the chatbox. Though you do feel slightly annoyed.

CA: youre laughin your ass off arent you

WC: YEAH, just-

WC: LET me catch my breath.

WC: SO…

WC: YOU want me to come and get you down?

CA: yes

WC: ALRIGHT. JUST let me get to the mansion. I left the teleporting thingy in the reinforced safe.

CA: teleportin thingy

WC: SHUT up! I temporarily forgot what I called it!

WC: ANYWAYS, just hold on and I'll try to arrive around your time….

WC: WHAT is your current time?

You momentarily close the window to check the automatic calendar she installed into the blessed thing before opening it up again to reply.

CA: oddly two perigees exactly from your last livve vvisit

WC: OK! I'M on my way!

- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling whiteChimera [WC] -

You let yourself uncurl and flop back to your upside-down position, hoping she comes soon before-

**THUMP!**

Huh, looks like she's here. Now it's a matter of her finding you. You can hear her shuffling towards your location, mumbling to herself. You can't really look …down… up? Oh whatever, _at the floor_ without feeling faint, so you depend on your hearing and try to concentrate on not embarrassingly passing out.

"…pftt… I can't believe…..trampoline….Now….Eri?" You flush a bright purple. When will she ever stop calling you that? It sounds so much like a girl's name, and it's already embarrassing enough that you let her dress you up during those cross-dressing tea parties that she likes so much.

You give an audible sigh. Whoever invented the 'puppy eyes' deserves a triple kick to the bone bulge… er, 'crotch' since it originated from earth. Glub, why is human anatomy so different?

"Pfft." You look to where you heard the barely contained sound and give Jaalas _the look_. There she stood in her disguised glory, barely containing her laughter and turning slightly pink.

"Are you goin' to help me dowwn or wwhat?" You pretty much broke the metaphorical dam as she doubled over, barely getting out any words as she laughed. "HAHAHA..pfft., y-yeah…just–" She burst out laughing again, slowly making her way towards you.

**== Eridan, be Jaalas.**

You are now Jaalas, and you are laughing your guts out. Your friend looks so ridiculous, being wrapped up by his own periwinkle-blue scarf in a way that he looks like a grub half-way stuck in the pupating process.

Taking a kitchen knife you had stored in your sylladex, you leap up on the tangled mess- swinging both of you in a dizzying manner- and cut him free. Acting quickly, you grab hold of him and land perfectly on your feet, chuckling. Yep, you still got it.

**== Jaalas, be Eridan again.**

After going through Jaal's acrobatics, you are feeling fairly queasy for a while. Though after a few seconds, you realize she is holding you princess style.

Yep, you are now in the highest level of being embarrassed. Goodbye masculinity, it was nice having you.

You didn't realize she was moving until she had set you down on your plush couch and had your head gripped gently between her hands, looking at you with a concerned expression. "Eri? Are you alright? You look pale."

You give her a reassuring smile. "Just dizzy, Jaal."

She doesn't wipe the worried expression she has, but she does let go of your face, visably relaxing. "Well, how long were you hanging there? Did I take too long?" You shake your head.

"You didn't take long, just around ten minutes." "Still, we should get some fluids in you. It's not really good to be upside down like that for seadwellers."

You sigh as she dashes to your respiteblock, clatters around some glasses, uses the sink, and dashes back to you without a single drop spilled. You do have to give her credit on the amount of time she took though. Was that ten, twenty seconds? Meh, you don't really keep track of stuff like that, so why bother now?

You are snapped out of you musing when she plops onto your lap and holds the glass out to you. "Drink."

You roll your eyes, but retrieve the glass anyways, taking long sips. As she makes sure you're drinking, she fiddles with her concealed collar, looking for the green button.

**_Click_****.**

She suddenly changes her physical appearance, gaining long white hair, losing the baby fat, growing fangs and claws, and shrinking down to her normal size at once. She gives a look of discomfort as her bones pop loudly, definitely indicating it's not a great experience.

You give a concerned grunt, just finishing the glass of water. Jaalas looks up with a pained wince, shifting her shoulders in order to accommodate to her normal size. "You're lucky you don't have to fucking change species, you know that?" Putting the now empty glass down, you deadpan. "Yes, and after seein' and hearin' you so many times, I'm thanking wwhoevver decided to be the univverse that I only have to change personality."

"Although," you sigh, suddenly tired. "It's gettin' hard not to mix my personalities together." She nods in understanding. "Yeah, I see what you mean." She shifts back onto your legs, at the moment using you as a chair. "I would sometimes find myself laughing 'evilly' like the idiot I'm supposed to be, even when no one is around to even possibly hear me."

"Do you think it may be permanent?"

"Depends." She replies, "How long do you think we'll last acting like this?"

You lean back against your purple couch, definitely feeling tired. "Until one of us slips up or is found out by someone snoopin' around our hivves." You hear her groan, making you lift an eyebrow at her.

"Wwhat?" Just by looking at her, you can see she either wants to bang her head against a wall or rip someone's bulge off. Probably the later. "The monks have gotten a new 'Wu that goes into peoples memories by name." You are now confused. "So?"

She grips her hair like she wants to rip it out, skin and all. "SO, if they try to use 'Jack Spicer', I'm **screwed** because then the fucking mirror won't work and I know they'll either want answers or think it's broken! And _trust me_, they'll always go for the former instead of the later because they think those shitty trinkets **DON'T. BREAK!**" You pat her back gently, having her calm down slowly to the point she's not panting anymore.

She suddenly slumps forward, her head resting on your shoulder. "It's sucks to be me. It sucks, and no one understands…" You are rubbing her back –you still have your hand doing that? Huh.– and you find yourself leaning over her with your chin resting on her head. "At least I somewwhat understand, and that's counts right? Wwe both have sucky livves but wwe're still here and still breathin' and still bein' ourselvves right? So, maybe if wwe somehoww find a wway to better our livves, it wwould be wworth the wwait,"

You tilt her head up to look you in the eyes. "Right?" She beams at you, giving you a warm fuzzy feeling the longer you she stares at you. "Right!" Giving her a smile, you suggest something that's probably going be the cause of your death. "Karaoke machine?"

"You know me so well! Yes, karaoke machine!" Slipping off your lap, Jaalas grabs your hand and tugs you up with her. Once stable, you head to your bookcase, tilt a skinny, leatherback book and have a door swing itself out of view. You both move down the spiraling staircase it leads to and soon emerge to a large grub-tv and karaoke machine in the far side of a large room.

While Jaalas was setting up the microphones, you were flipping through the music choices that you so far downloaded. "Is 'Secrets' fine?" "Yep! We haven't really sang that one for some time haven't we?"

You pause. "No, not really. How much time do you have?" "Around-" she takes out the whatever-it-is and looks at the in-built timer. "two hours." "Great we can do at least an album." Smiling, you both get into positions and start up the soundtack. Jaalas starts slowly, getting into pace with the music.

**"I need another story,**

**Something to get off my chest."**

You join in, making sure to pronounce everything clearly so you won't show your noticeable stutter.

**"My life gets kinda boring;**

**Need something that I can confess."**

**"'Til all my sleeves are stained red,**

**From all the truth that I've said.**

** Come by it, honestly, I swear-"**

** "Thought you saw me wink, no?**

** I've been on the brink, so-"**

You both start raising your voices, giving the song as much feeling as you can.

**_ "Tell me what you want to hear,_**

**_ Something that will light those ears?_**

**_ Sick of all the insincere,_**

**_ So I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

"**_This time, don't need another perfect lie,_**

**_ Don't care if critics ever jump in line,_**

**_ I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**"My God, amazing how we got this far.**

**It's like we're chasing all those stars,**

**Who's driving shiny big black cars."**

**"And everyday I see the news,**

**All the problems that we could solve,**

**And when a situation rises,**

**Just write it into an album."**

**"Send it straight to gold,**

**But I don't really like my flow, no, so-"**

**_"Tell me what you want to hear,_**

**_Something that will light those ears?_**

**_Sick of all the insincere,_**

**_So I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**_"This time, don't need another perfect lie,_**

**_Don't care if critics ever jump in line,_**

**_I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**"Oh, got no reason, got no shame."**

**"Got no family I can blame."**

**"Just don't let me disappear,"**

**"I'ma tell you everything!"**

**_"So tell me what you want to hear,_**

**_Something that will light those ears?_**

**_Sick of all the insincere,_**

**_So I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**_"This time, don't need another perfect lie,_**

**_Don't care if critics ever jump in line,_**

**_I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**_"So tell me what you want to hear,_**

**_Something that will light those ears?_**

**_Sick of all the insincere,_**

**_So I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**_"This time, don't need another perfect lie,_**

**_Don't care if critics ever jump in line,_**

**_I'm gonna give all my secrets away!"_**

**_"All my secrets away!"_**

**_"All my secrets away!"_**

**The song I used is 'Secrets; by One Republic. I tried to make this one good, but I need all of your opinions okay? I seriously tried to make this chapter more revealing, so try to give me feedback that may help.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: The Beginning of a Long, LONG End**

**== Be Eridan.**

You are now Eridan, and both you and Jaalas are panting from the exertion of singing and dancing to an Album and four songs. You're surprised you were able to fit in that much, even though most of the songs were under three minutes. You both lean on each other, staggering towards the seating area you two arranged in case of situations like this.

Collapsing on the fluffiest couch there is, you both start to gain back your breath. "Howw much more time?" You can hear rustling –strange you don't remember closing your eyes- as Jaalas pulls out her machine. "Thirty seconds and counting." You hear her click the green button, going through the painful process of changing species again. After the disturbing sounds of bones cracking and organs squelching has gone, you decide to break the momentary silence.

"Wwe'vve done quite a feww songs, huh?"

"Yeah. See you at chat later?"

"Yep. Bye."

You can just feel her grin on you. "Bye."

You feel her disappear from beside you, finally leaving from your almost empty shiphive to the just as vacant mansion. You sigh tiredly, getting up slowly from your position. It's almost dawn, and if you're not in your recuperacoon by then, Seahorsedad would have a fit. You chuckle as you make your way up the stairs, hoping Jaalas would get some sleep as well.

**== Eridan, be Jaalas.**

You feel yourself being warped back to the secret compartment, hitting the floor with a sharp thud. "Ow, fuck, that hurt!" You slowly stand up, holding your head. It seems you always land on your head when you use this thing, though that just gives you more of a reason to hate this piece of shit.

**Bring!Bring!**

Huh, looks like mail's here. You clamber out of the secret passage, not before securing the machine inside the safe that is, and make your way out of the basement and towards the front door. Opening the door, you don't see any trace of the mailman, which is a little worrisome since you only took a few seconds, not enough time for him/her to completely disappear on their unknown transportation device. You know it's not a motor vehicle, or you would have heard it and smelled it's fumes. Maybe a bicycle? If so –you look at the tall, tangled shrubbery surrounding your house – he/she is impressively athletic.

Your respect for delivery people has exponentially heightened.

Looking down, you spot a medium sized package, and it's addressed to you! Excited, you grab the package and dash inside, running down the stairs to the basement and plop it on the table. Now, you know that despite your overwhelming excitement, the package should be treated with respect. The mail man/woman had given you this package dutifully and you wish to give respect to their selfless job. You take out a letter opener from your toolbox and neatly cut the tape holding it together.

You peel away the cardboard, squealing when you see what it is. Yes, finally! The last piece you need for your new invention! Like your gloves, boots, and your last name, it's nameless. But you want to make sure it has a proper name, not something half-assed or idiotic like 'Jack Bot'. Maybe in the future, you will be able to give proper **full** names. Until then, you share a kinship in the subject of names.

You take out a small box that contains the unfinished parts needed to make the nameless piece.

**== Skip two hours later.**

Finally, it is done! You laugh 'manically' before stopping yourself. God, you hope that you can get rid of that habit. Besides that, you are excited that you finished your new transporter. You made it look like a black, Pulsar LED watch that had its base shaped like a James Bond cuff. It had a small solar panel on the top so that it'll start to charge if you ran out of petroleum, not to mention that the transporter is resilient to most things, including water and high levels of weight. Taking that into account and combining both its function and color –which is black by the way-, you feel like you made the coolest type of transportation yet. Not to mention you don't have to call out its name like the Golden Tiger Claws, making your entry or exit discreet.

This is in one of the highest levels of bad-assery, you just know it.

After admiring your handiwork, you notice something odd. In the remains of the cardboard box lies a light yellow-brown envelope with a very odd house on it. Huh, you must have missed it when you went into total excitement seeing the last piece that you needed. You retrieve the envelope and find a small note attached. Should you read it?

**== Jack, read note.**

_Congratulations Jack Spicer!_

_You are awarded with the Sburb, an interactive game that won't be in store for a while yet, for being a regular customer for all these years. As said before, the game is an interactive computer game and may need you to have your friends to play with you. We… don't actually know how the game works exactly, the producer was anonymous and gave few details on what the game is about. But, be assured, if there are technical problems or it is a blank disc, you may send the disc back and we in return will send a pound of whatever material you want in apology._

_From,_

_Creation Corp._

You raise an eyebrow at this. What kind of company sends their customers weird games that could possibly give their computers viruses? Apparently this one. Though, if the game turns out to be good, you might send a thank you note. But just in case…

"Jack bot!" One of the many Jack Bots you have created comes to you, saluting and waiting patiently for an order. You hold out the disc that the envelope contained to it. "Could you please scan this for any possible viruses or bugs? And make sure to not scratch the disc please." The Jack Bot retrieves it carefully before floating quickly towards your computer's scanner. With that done, you might as well get some sle-

**Brrriiiing!**

God Dammit! When will the Shen Gong Wu stop revealing themselves? Hell, why did Dashi make so **many** 'Wu? Why, just, why? You glance at the screen that shows the 'wu. It looked quite similar to what the Memory Mirror and Orb of Tsunami's love child would look like, a silvery yet clear orb that looked around the size of a baseball. It's looks So. FUCKING. BORING. You start to make a mental checklist: Do you feel like you're about to collapse in exhaustion? Yes.

Do you feel that the orb is worth getting your ass kicked again? No.

So, what would you choose; getting your ass kicked but keeping up the act that you're still a pompous ass, or going to sleep but having a large chance of the Xiaolin Brats ransacking your mansion?

You choose wisely by calling out your Jack Bots, dragging your ass upstairs, and lifting off with your helipack towards the new 'wu.

**== Two hours later.**

You drag your beaten body towards the doorway of the mansion, ready to just pass out. You are tempted to do just that, but you might die from possible internal bleeding if you don't check in with Medic Bot. You are frustrated. No, not frustrated, **ANGRY**. You had received three broken ribs, a shattered shoulder, and a slight concussion for a bubble maker, a _BUBBLE MAKER_.

What the ever-loving FUCK was Dashi on when he made these shitty things?

It was a slow process getting yourself inside, but once one of the patrolling Jack Bots spotted you, it scooped you up, careful to support your upper torso and legs, and took you straight down to the basement. It seemed to be worried, though you would somewhat expect that since you programmed personality chips in each one.

The Jack Bot soon located the Medic Bot, turning it on and using frantic gestures to you. Ah, JB 412, it preferred to use erratic gestures instead of verbal answers, much like what your fake persona would be like when mute. Maybe you should give it an upgrade for acting so quickly.

The Medic Bot seemed to understand as it carefully lifted you with an anti-gravitational laser –one you thankfully installed for things like this- and settled you on the table it was bolted to. You were put through a few scans, a visual assessment, and put in sedation in order to work at your ribs.

Everything was sort of fuzzy to you when you come to a more aware state. JB 412 and MB 3 seemed to be waiting for something… Oh!

Making an effort you give a drowsy order. "You can set me on the bed JB 412, thanks- " you give a quiet yawn. "MB 3." Turning to MB 3, JB 412 waved a sullen goodbye, turning it off. You don't really know what exactly the personality of each of your Jack Bots is, but you know they sort of have a mutual respect for each other, even when freshly made.

So far, you made five hundred and sixty two Jack Bots, three Medic Bots –the first two were trashed by the Xiaolin Brats before they even went into action-, one chameleon bot, and one RoboJack who really should just be the real Jack since it's his actual personality, not a fake one like yours. All that in a span of three years in the residence of your adoptive 'parents'. They really couldn't own up to that title now and maybe never due to their negligence, but you are thankful for many reasons you couldn't name right now.

Once it has reached your bed, JB 412 tucked you in gently, turned off the lights, and locked the door from the outside. You pretty much modified your door like that due to a, er, _incident_ involving a violent nightmare, Jack Bots being there at the wrong time, and a large panic attack. You… rather not talk about it.

You feel sleep beckon you to darkness, numbing your injuries and clearing your mind as you soon gave in to it.

**== Jack, wake up eight hours later.**

When you wake up, it isn't that blearily-coming-to-awareness-slowly type of waking, but the sudden just-had-ice-water-spilled-all-over-me type of wakefulness. Of course you didn't have a nightmare, though you had the habit of wanting to know what the hell's going on around you 'going away' for a while. No one can really blame you since no one besides Eridan knows why you have that habit.

When you slowly get up, you're relieved that you don't feel any more pain. Even though you already can heal like nothing happened, it's a slow process when your injuries repair themselves, not to mention painful, so you created the Medic Bots to patch you up when you receive more serious injuries.

Stretching, you head downstairs towards the kitchen. You're really in the mood for a pudding cup, though you want to make sure that you savor it until the new shipment has come in. Speaking of which…

You veer towards the front door, peeking through the peephole and looking towards the porch. Nope, not here yet, but you have faith in the delivery man/woman and you will wait patiently for the package, even though you will soon run out of the sweet, precious concoction.

You start making your way back to the kitchen, only to be stopped by the doorbell. More mail? But you didn't see anyone come up to the doorstep, so how..?

You approach the door and open it, spotting a large brown cardboard box. You are… overwhelmingly impressed! This mailman/woman must be the fastest delivery person in the whole world to have delivered the package so quickly! You again appreciate the effort this mysterious mailman/woman has shown. Maybe you can make a thank you card?

You easily carry the box inside, closing the door behind you, and set it on the table. You go to retrieve your letter opener, excited by the possibility of what it could be, and hurriedly cut down the tape.

"FUCK. YES." You find your month supply of pudding you had ordered! Oh god, yes! You are thankful that you didn't run out your supply quickly, that would just be disastrous. Last time you ran out… well, you just want to forget what happened. Curse your addiction, but god bless pudding.

A Jack Bot approaches you with a disk, holding it along the edges in order not to scratch it. "Sir, the disc came out clear of viruses and now has a backup copy. What do you want for me to do?" It scratched out. Ah, this is JB 245, its voice box had taken a toll from one of your many ass-kickings, and it took you some time to salvage enough pieces to fix it. Damn cheeseball and his water. No, wait, damn the Xiaolin Brats in all.

"You can leave it on the counter JB 245, thank you." You reply, watching as the Jack Bot places the disc delicately onto the counter. You turn your attention back to the packages of delicious pudding, taking one out and storing the rest into your sylladex. Opening the cup, you can't help but sigh in bliss. God, you really love these things.

You take the disc from the countertop to examine it. Its cover was a white base decorated with an intricate green design that reminded you of a church's front window. You are slightly skeptical. Why did the company send something like this in the first place? Why couldn't they just go with the extra material that they had offered? This is just too suspicious, but…

You take the disc with you as you descend down the stairs, going straight towards your main computer. But, as you open the disk drive, you hesitate. Maybe you should enter this in one of your unused laptops instead, just in case it messes up the files you stored into this computer.

You put the disc down before going to your room, heading up the staircase and crossing the hall as you do. Once you arrive, you head straight to your walk-in-closet. You then flick on the light, revealing rows and rows of gothic attire. God, once the act is over, the first thing you'll do is clear out your closet and get _real_ clothes. You locate the medium sized box you use to store your other computers, pulling out an old VAIO model that your adoptive father used to have owned.

You flicker off the lights, close the door, and head into the basement where the odd disc awaited you. Opening and turning on the laptop, you grab the disc and insert it into the disc player. Almost immediately did the main screen change into a loading screen that had the same design as the disc… Except the green symbol started to fluctuate with the ringtone-like-song that it came with. Wow, that's making you dizzy just watching it…

The screen darkens to black, showing the green title of the game. It then clears and shows… HOLY SHIT, that's you in the basement! Okay, you thought this was a game, not a people google. Just what is this? You were about to remove and trash the stupid disc when you notice something. There was a choice bar with a color scheme of white and green (again), and it had an odd assembly of signs.

The first was at the left-hand corner, suspiciously looking like a remote controller with the basic up-down-left-right-home pad, a home button, a magnifying glass, the back and forward buttons, and three symbols near the top you can't quite make out because of your shitty eyesight. The next one was the same weird house printed on the disc's casing, which is just shows how uncreative the programmer was in making the game. The one next to it wasn't any better since it looked like the broken version of the house before it. Good thing they at least tried with the next one, showing a sylladex card and a small green cube next to it. Though, the next one looks like a piece of blue crystal and strikes you as odd. Maybe that resembles the game's currency? Your hopes on the programmer's creativity had plummeted when you saw the next one, it being the fifth one only with the green cube captchalogued into the sylladex card. The last one… just downright confused you. It showed a hole-punched sylladex card with a triangular test tube filled with green liquid next to it.

You curiously scroll the mouse towards the second one, having the symbol and the word 'Select' pop out. The third one did the same thing except with the word 'Revise'. You kept scrolling down (Deploy, Phernalia Registry, Grist Cache, Explore Atheneum, Alchemy Excursus) until you reached the end, reading what each had popped up with. You select 'Select' –you laugh at this- and watch your curser turned into the house symbol. For curiosities sake, you click and drag the large table behind you. It's not like it affects rea-

You hear the scrape of metal as your curser moves, making you freeze. Slowly you turn around and – HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, it's actually happening! In your shock, you release the mouse, thus letting your metal table crash loudly to the floor.

**== Jack, do not panic.**

You barely hear the weird voice as you look back and forth between the computer and the table. That… actually happened? What in the fiery pits of hell did you receive? Though –you grin widely–, this could be a shit-ton useful in house work! Not to mention help with the Xiaolin Brats! But… you wonder if this can work beyond the basement. Looking at the toolbar, you pick the magnifying glass and repeatedly click on it, making the scene zoom out. You then move the cursor away from the house, only for it to stop and turn gray not a yard away from the porch. "Aww." Looks like it only ranges from your house. Oh well, the shit's still pretty neat! Wonder what else this thing can do…

You zoom in back to the basement, and tried clicking yourself. It seems no matter hard you click, you yourself won't move. Guess it doesn't work on living things, but it would have been cool to be able to throw out the Xiaolin Brats like yesterday's trash. You then select 'Deploy', having the curser change into the symbol provided. You then click near the edge of your basement, dragging it a good few feet out. Wonder what this will- You release the button, and gap at what you see.

Was it just you or did you just expand the basement? You quickly glance towards the corner, before looking at the screen again. Yep, you just expanded the basement. You hope to god it's not noticeable outside…

You see a new icon added, though you are hesitant to try it out. Maybe after you try out the Phernalia Registry. You click the icon for it and pictures of three odd machines popped out. Scrolling through them, they read Cruxtruder, Totem Lathe, and Alchemiter. Seeing as you couldn't select them, you then go back to and click the new icon. Funny you though the pictures would go away… You move the mouse over the Cruxtruder, seeing it highlight. "Oh, I see!"

You click on the Cruxtruder and –**BANG!** You find yourself sprawled on the floor with your ears ringing loudly. Ok, note to self: Don't deploy anything in the echoy basement. You wobble as you stand up, looking at where the Cruxtruder landed. Luckily, it had situated itself in the newly put space, meaning you hadn't crushed anything important…. yet. You go to examine it, a little nervous on what it could be. When you look at it though, it reminds you of something from…. Pokeman? Poke-my-mom? Ah, whatever. It looks unrealistic but cool, so you don't judge it yet.

You walk back to your computer, now clicking the blue gem-like icon. It takes you to a screen showing five different kinds of gems. The first one, the same kind that the icon showed, looked like it used to have a certain quantity, but now the bar below it is lowered. Huh, looks like you were right on it being currency.

You then go back to the upside down house, zoom to your living room, and click on the Totem Lathe. You hear a large bang upstairs, indicating that it was successfully out. Looking at the screen, you see that it landed on the table. Thank god your adoptive mother isn't here, or she would have broken down at the sight of her favorite –now broken to pieces- furniture.

You look back at the pictures and notice two new ones. You scroll to the last one, which read 'Punch Designix'. Seeing as you don't have the currency for it, you go to the next that read 'Pre-punched Card'. Pfft, like that will be useful. You already know damaged sylladex cards won't function already, so what's the point? You then zoom to the kitchen, having a funny feeling it'll be a critical placement, and released the Alchemiter. Luckily, this landed right into an empty corner, just between the fridge and the cabinets.

Now that you deployed all this shit, you should start examining them, starting with the Cruxtruder. You circle the machine suspiciously, not exactly sure what it does. After scrutinizing it for a few minutes, you spot a black, rotating wheel. Maybe if you turn it, it will do something?

But, you have something screaming at you from the back of your mind not to turn it, yet your sooo curious. So what should you do? Turn it? Not turn it?

Turn. Not turn.

Turn. Not turn.

But if you turn it-

**== Jack, turn the fucking wheel.**

You decide to do what the voice says, since it never failed you before. You take hold of it, and start to turn it until– **_Clink_**. Huh. **_Clink_**. It seems to be stuck. **_Clink_**. Why is it stuck? **_Clink_**. Maybe if you keep doing this– **_Clink_**. –you won't break it like the other things you try to force open. **_Clink_**. Though, that's just stupid reasoning. **_Clink_**. How will it become unstuck? **_Clink_**. You really don't want to stop doing this. **_Clink_**. It's sort of– **_Clink_**. –fun.

**== Just bust the shitty thing!**

Okay, okay, jeeze. Can't a girl have fun?

**== …**

Ignoring the obvious silence you activate your new gloves. Yes! Time to test these babies out! You tuck your right fist into the other, making sure to also tuck in your thumbs, before you take a running leap towards the Cruxtruder and give the lid a powerful hammer punch.

The next thing you know, you're flying back as the Cruxtruder flashes a bright blue as it spasms, launching the lid open and letting out a glitchy, blue-black orb with the same pattern as the disc and loading screen. Looking at one of the four screens located at the bottom of the Cruxtruder, you notice it's starting to count down….

**_25: 59_**

**_25:58_**

**_25:57_**

Ok, you're totally freaked out. Why is it counting down? Fuck, you hope it's not a bomb. You start to panic at the thought, feeling like a total moron for not checking –

**BLLLOOOOOP! BLLLOOOOOP! BLLLOOOOOP! BLLLOOOOOOP!**

What the- wait, isn't that the sky watcher you installed? You run to your computer, opening up the view screen and staring at what you see.

WHAT.

THE.

**FUCK?!**

You see dozens of meteors blazing as they slowly came closer to your location, making you even more concerned when you see a particularly very large one tailing the shower of small ones.

**Okay, I ended it here because I wanted to work on my cliff hangers, so if that had sucked, please tell me. Besides that, I had reference from '****_Let's Read: Homestuck - Act 1 - pt 4 and 5_****' so you might have had a slight sense of Déjà vu, just to tell you. Anyways, give your honest opinion as you rate, even if it can be mean!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: It's Time To Act!**

**== Jack, don't panic.**

You barely keep your panic pushed down as you continue to see the slow descent towards you. "Shit." Doesn't mean you aren't cussing your ass off. As you let out a long stream of your favorite curses, you quickly calculate the time you have left until possibly the whole planet is obliterated, quickly setting a timer to count down. You pause, feeling a scary sense of déjà vu. You look towards the Cruxtruder, paling as you start glancing back and forth between the machine and the computer. Well, fuck. You just put the Earth in danger because of a shitty game. You give yourself a pat on the back for being the moron you were pretending to be.

Yes, were. It's the end of the world, so can you be yourself for the next –you look toward the clock –twenty five minutes. Great. You might as well enjoy that time left before you're smashed to pieces. But first- You click the green button, go through probably one of the most painful transformations you ever done, and break the button off so as to never go into your made up human form ever again. Now-

You then stalk towards the Cruxtruder, making your intentions known as you wind a fist back. You stop just when you see something gleaming, something light blue in the Cruxtruder. You grab it around the edges and pull, making it come out with a loud **POP!** As you examine the object you came up with two things.

1. This is something relevant that can possibly save you, or at least your instincts are saying so. They hadn't even failed you even before you opened Hell's Gates.

2. It has to somehow be involved with the other machines you have deployed, meaning that wasn't a waste of precious time.

You captchalogue it before dashing towards the closest one besides the Cruxtruder. As you arrive to the living room, you are relieved that the Totem lathe isn't damaged. Who knows where you'll be if _that _happened. Just by looking at it, you can already see the slot on where the totem –at least that's what it probably is called because of the machine's name– would be placed. You snap it in the slot that had a large carving needle above it, making sure that it wouldn't fall out for whatever function the machine had.

Now to look for buttons, buttons… Where are the buttons?! You franticly search the machine for buttons, panic starting to seep back into you. There. Are. No. Fucking, BUTTONS. There's nothing but that stupid slot that looked like a ticket-

You pause, suddenly feeling like you should have noticed something in that unfinished thought. Once you calm down, you briefly wonder why that stroked a cord. Slot? No. Ticket….. Wait, ticketticketticket….

**== You have now past the label of moron, making you a total oblivious, brain-dead moron. Why haven't you considered that ****_maybe_**** the punched Sylladex card was actually useful? Oh I know, you-**

"JUST. SHUT. UP." You are very ticked off at the voice, and are slightly tempted to flip the bird and ignore it. But, it sort of has a point about the punched card. Why the hell did you ignore that?

You dash back down to the basement, making a running leap towards the laptop you thankfully left open. Scrolling to the Phernalia Registry, you quickly select and deploy the card next to you. Grabbing it –and captchaloguing the laptop–, you dash back up the stairs, to the Totem Lathe, and _shoved_ the card in.

**ZZZSSSTT!**

The needle quickly carved out the totem, turning it to an odd shape that reminded you of a star fruit. You take the totem, captchaloguing it. Now to the Alchemiter. You dash to the kitchen, sliding to a stop just a foot away from the machine. Looking at it carefully, you see that the smaller podium may be where you set the totem. Doing so, you realize something. **_BSZSZT!_** Something has been following you. **_BSZSZSZST!_** And is now behind you, acting like a whiny bitch. **_BSZSZSZSZST!_** You turn around, and spot the floating black-blue ball from earlier. What the hell does it want?

It seemed to be very agitated, but you seriously don't know why. As you stare at it for a few seconds, the robotic arm scanned the totem you placed, having a comedy-tragedy mask appear on the larger platform. Putting the glowing ball on hold, you pick it up and examine it. The mask seemed to be split for the traditional theater masks; The left side showing Tragedy in a dark blue color while the right was Comedy, which was a light red.

"Err…" You have no fucking idea how this would save your ass. Hell, how the hell will a mask help in any way?! Oh well. When in doubt, go to the internet!

You take out the laptop from your sylladex, minimizing the window of Sburb, and quickly enter Internet Explorer. Now, how to do this?

**== Jaalas, enter 'Sburb Guide'.**

You mentally thank the voice as you type down 'Sburb Guide'. Seriously, where would you be without it? Surprisingly this shitty game had an online manual, meaning that you may be able to save your ass. You click on the topmost of your search, which showed to most recent on updating.

**_Sburb Game Guide_**

**_The Table of Contents_**

_Section 1: How to Get Started pg.1-5_

_Section 2: The Machines and Their Functions pg.6-15_

_Section 3: Sprites, Consorts, and Lands pg.16-18_

_Section 4: How to Combine Objects pg.19-24_

_Section 5: Credits pg.25-26_

Okay, seems like this author was competent enough to categorize things in order. Maybe you can find other bits of information, once you some free time. Now, on to page six.

**_Section 2: The Machines and Their Functions_**

_Now, if you have figured out most of what you're supposed to do before you actually searched this, congratulations! But, if you're reading this, then you're probably stuck somewhere with the machines. Whether it be with the Cruxtruder (go to pg.7), the Totem Lathe (go to pg.8-9), or the Alchemiter (go to pg.10), you __**must**__ hurry if you still haven't teleported yet. Go to the mentioned pages listed with the starter machines, __**now**__._

You flip to the mentioned page, feeling a little nervous as the time is slowly ticking by.

**_Alchemiter_**_: If you made it here already since the start of the game, give yourself a pat on the back (you'll need it). Now, if you already have the carved totem that was made from the Totem Lathe, then you're on the right track. In order to work the machine, simply place the carved totem on the smaller platform, thus activating the Alchemiter's scanner and receiving your own Cruxite artifact. This artifact __**must**__ be broken in order for you to teleport to your specialized session before the meteor hits, unless you __**want**__ to die that is. This machine can be used over and over again like the others, but this has the function of using the carved totems or punched cards in order to make the items that were coded in. So, by chance you were running low on an item, living or otherwise, you can up the replication number and, well, replicate to your heart's content (or until you run out of grist)._

_Note: Never is one Cruxite artifact the same from another, for each one is customized for each player's personality usually by taking a form of an object no bigger than a normal head. So, don't worry if yours is different in appearance, it still serves the purpose of being broken._

_Warning: It's recommended that you don't waste your grist, you may need it later on in order to finish the game._

_Another Warning: At least prototype your kernelsprite once before you teleport, or you may end up in deep shit._

Scrolling through, you are mentally thanking the currently unknown author. Maybe you should bookmark this series after all.

After doing so, you look back at the countdown.

**_15:00_**

**_14:59_**

**_14:58_**

Yep, you should probably hurry the fuck up before you die. First things first, what's a kernelsprite? You scroll to the next section, eyeballing though for the word. "Aha!"

**_Kernelsprites_**_: Kernelsprites are basically the floating balls of black and blue that are released from the Cruxtruder after you open it. They eventually would become regular Sprites by being prototyped twice. -Yes, __**twice**__- by combining the kernelsprites with inanimate objects or living/formerly living beings, the objects or beings become the sprite, who are given knowledge about Sburb and your personal quest. After the first prototyping, the sprites simply appear as sparking, floating heads. However, after the second prototyping (also called hatching, special prototyping, etc.) they gain a ghostly form possessing a tail. Despite their name, appearance, and abilities, they have been confirmed to be corporeal, meaning they are considered alive. Sprites are pretty much your undead guide, but they accompany you as you go through The Seven Gates until you have unlocked the ability to do so. You will know you have unlocked said ability once the sprite gives you a pendant to which you can use to summon the it. Apparently, they are drawn to the Battlefield at a certain point for unknown reasons, but make sure they have served their purpose, that of which you'll figure out later._

_Note: These beings can die, so try not to drag them in impossibly deadly situations._

_Though the ability to convey the information is limited by the intelligence of the sprite, which is also limited to that of its composing parts, they are __**supposed**__ to be coy about the information, only stating it vaguely, in riddles, or when it's deemed appropriate. But be warned, they can have holes in their knowledge, especially in regards to the Denizens and the Choices they offer._

_Note from the author: This is all I can say for now, the subject of this is pretty new to me as well, so excuse me if you find unmentioned parts to this guide. Maybe you can check out it's wiki?.._

"This game has a wiki?" You are confused, how does this thing have a wiki if it never came out yet? Oh well, you can go through it later after you're out of danger. So… After captchaloguing the computer again and picking up the mask, you head to the library.

You are soon skimming past the first five rows before going straight towards a dead end. You reach for the top row, pulling down the skinny paperback book that read 'Acting for Idiots'.

**BANG!**

A large opening slammed open from the right, taking a whole case of books with it. Luckily, the books stayed in the inbuilt case. You rush through it, making sure to close the door after the sprite came in, so that no one –coughtheXiaolinBratscough- would find you if they busted into your home.

You hold on to the railing as you make your way down the steep staircase. Eventually, you come to a locked, steel door. Punching in the code –again, 'Fuck Off' is a good password- you open the door with little effort before going inside.

The room here was decently sized, big enough for a small bedroom, and was decorated with glass casings. Inside of each held mementos of things you collected during you time here. The ones closest to the door are the more recent ones, the newest being the Monkey Staff 'Jack' was so fond of. But, you aren't entirely here for the 'Wu, but something else as well.

You head down to the center-end of the aisles, coming up to the first object you have placed. A large skeleton was situated there, taking the appearance of an oversized version of a lion. You gently place a hand on the bleached-clean muzzle, feeling sadness overwhelm you.

"Mom..."

**== Jaalas, be Eridan.**

You are now Eridan, and you are worried. Usually Jaalas would have contacted you long before now, but she hasn't even logged on yet. Oh, you hope it's not a Shen Gong Wu, she already took a beating before she came here. You unconsciously start to growl. Who the hell do those Xiaolin Brats –that's what Jaal usually calls them– think they are anyway? Good guys both your and Jaalas' asses.

Giving a huff, you head into your Preperationblock. Jaal had wanted to try out more of your cooking, since your lusus pretty much sucks at it, and you wanted to keep practicing. After all, as the humans say, 'practice makes perfect'. You take out the recipe book she had gotten for you, intent on finding a particular dish. As you flip through the lunch section, you think back to how you have received the cook book in the first place.

**_~Two perigrees ago~_**

_You both were breathless after a good 30 minutes of singing Fall Out Boy's Album 'Save Rock and Roll'. As you both lay panting, you had felt happy that you and Jaalas kept in time with every song. It has been only a perigree since her last visit and you were excited when she came crashing through the roof, though you did feel exasperated when you had to patch it up._

GRRROOAAARRR!

_You both fell off the couch at the sudden noise, before Jaal started to give a nervous laugh. "Wwhat's so funny?" You asked, confused at her weird reaction. "Er," you watched her scratch her head, a light blush forming quickly on her smiling face. "Do you know if you have any food?" You felt like face palming. That was her stomach, as in she became really hungry to the point that she scared the shit out of both of you._

_She let her laughter fade, looking a little nervous. Sighing you get up and offer her a hand. "Might as wwell see wwhat I havve. I can't guarantee that I'll havve anythin', Pop is lousy at getting' an preparin' food." She gives you a disbelieving look as she takes your hand. "He can't cook?" Lifting her up, you snort. "Sadly yes."_

_"That's weird." You raise an eyebrow at her as she went up the stairs. "Just wweird?" "Yeah. Usually lusi would pass down their knowledge to their descendants in order for them to know how to take care of their grubs." You pause at the top step. "Wwait, you mean lusi don't learn from experience?" "Yep." Both of you have reached the Preperationblock, going straight to the fridge. "Apparently, there are some things that need to be taught and prevented from happening."_

_"Like wwhat?" You are starting to wonder how your lusus became such a bad cook if there was a system developed like that. "Well," You watch her open the fridge. "One example would be the types of grubs. For instance, a grub with psychic abilities would have to be constantly replenished of a mind honey in order to keep them from having energy deficiency since they tend to unintentionally use their psionics a lot. But, as they grow older, they wouldn't need the honey anymore because they have grown to a point where their energy levels can be easily maintained by their own will."_

_You give a loud whistle. "Someone's been doin' their homewwork." "Actually," She pulls out a few different meats, vegetables, and uncooked grubrice from the fridge, setting them on the counter. "All of that was only through one telling from Mom." "You had your mom teach you?" She laughed. "No, she just ran out of stories to tell."_

_You watched her bring out a wooden board, a knife, a large pot, and a bowl. After placing the meat on top, she started to cut with a practiced ease, putting the sliced pieces into the large pot in order to put more on the board. Once done, she turns the heat on the stove and places the pot on it, before turning back to the vegetables, doing the same and placing them into the bowl._

_"Since wwhen did you knoww howw to cook anywways?" She pauses. "Since…" A large filing cabinet was drawn out, each drawer labeled with sections of the alphabet. "around 4 sweeps ago." You look at her surprisingly, feeling impressed. "That long? Then you must be a professional or somethin'!" She burst into a large grin as she opened a few drawers, took out some Sylladex cards, and retrieved a bottle of dark brown liquid, sugar, and a few other ingredients you couldn't quite figure out._

_"I'm not officially a professional yet. Well," She takes out a chain of spoons next, getting measurements and adding them to the now sizzling meat. "in Alternian foods anyway. I already got a major in culinary arts from the humans, which is good if I ever want to get a job." She puts back the used ingredients and spoons into the cabinet again. "Tell me when you do." You take a sniff at the pot she now was stirring. "By the smell a what you're making, I'll be very happy to eat your best dish."_

_She was still grinning as she turned down the flame, grabbing the bag of grubrice and pulling out a white rice cooker. You watched her as she poured in measurements of grubrice and water before flicking a switch located at the bottom of the rice cooker. "Is that a promise?" You give her a large grin. "AOf course! Can't be sure to be a professional wwithout someone tastin' the food you make!"_

_As she kept stirring the mix of meat, vegetables, and seasonings, she turns to you with a mischievous smile. "Meaning you'll be my unofficial critique and willing guinea pig?" You suddenly feel like you walked into a trap. "Er…Yes?" "Great!" She suddenly seemed very excited, making you suddenly wish that you just hadn't agreed to that. "But, there's one problem…" She seemed a little forlorn as she kept stirring the thickening ingrediants. "Wwhat is it?" You are now worried. What can make her so sad all of the sudden?_

_"Well, remember how this thing-" she points to the machine strapped to her wrist. " has been limiting less and less time?" You let out a sigh. "Yeah, wwe had to cut down karaoke evvery noww and then because a that. Wwhat a it?" "Right now, I'm starting a personal project," Turning off the flame, she went to one of your cabinets and opened it. "that being as finding another type of transportation." "You're makin' another then?"_

_"Well, yes and no." She took out two plates, setting them between the pot and rice cooker. "Yes, I'm making another transporting device, but no, I'm not making an exact copy. I'm aiming for a much better one, one with less downsides." "You mean by takin' out the time limit and pain a usin' it, both figurativvely and literally?" The cooker beeped, having her rush as she took out a large spoon and started to scoop up rice, putting decent piles on each plate. "Yep!"_

_"So until then," She scooped up the pot's contents next, dolloping a good amount on top of the grubrice. "I'm trying to conserve the amount of minutes I have. Thus, having to visit less." Ahhh," You felt a little disappointed, you were looking forward to more regular and actual meals. You voice this to her, which in turn made her laugh. "You don't have to completely depend on me to do the cooking for you!" "Wwhy?" you find yourself asking, a little more than confused._

_She takes both of your plates to the counter, setting one in front of you and the other next to you before rummaging through the drawer below. "Because," she whips out two forks, handing one to you. "You can learn how to cook." "Howw?" You took a bite, moaning slightly at the wondrous flavor. "My lusis can't teach me shit about that and I don't really __**knoww**__ anyone that cooks." She snickered around her food. "There's a few things called recipe books, cooking channels, and asking for advice you know."_

_"But still-" "But still nothing." She looks at you with confidence. "I know you're competent enough to know how to piece things together and not burn your hive down. Not to mention I can still keep tabs on you even if I'm now limiting my visits." "Though," you swallow another delicious mouthful. "wwhere can I find a cook book?""Pfft, that's easy." She bolts to the filing cabinet that she took out, rifling through the one of the top drawers, and comes back with a large book._

_"Here, it's not much, but this is actually what I started with when I started to learning." You take the book –named 'Cooking for Idiots' just so you know- from her, flipping it open and checking out the contents. As you skim through, you notice how many of the recipes give detailed instructions of how to work certain machines like the oven and how to tell if the food is adequately cooked/prepared. You feel your eyes slowly widen. "Wwell, shit. This thin' has a fuckload a details!"_

_She snickered in amusement, probably from the expression you're making, as she finished the last of her meal. "Of course! It's basically a beginners book designed for, well, beginners." "Huh." That was pretty much all you had to say about that. "_So_, all you need to do is gather the ingredients and utensils needed." You can tell she was trying not to laugh. It's weird how much emotion she puts in her voice, yet can pull off the blankest of faces at the same time._

_"Huh?! Already?!" You snap your head up, seeing her look at her failure of a machine in exasperation. "Howw much time do you havve left?" She pouted. "One minute left and counting." "Wwell," you start, feeling a little reluctant to see her go. "wwe can alwways go on chat or –wwhat do the humans call it?- Skya? Skepia?" She giggled at you. "Skype, and don't worry! I'll try to be on there as much as possible, so we should have enough time to fuck around."_

_You feel a full on blush as she kisses you on the cheek, pulling back with a shit eating grin._

_And then she was gone._

**_~Flashback End~_**

You sighed in fondness. She really knew how to play with your 1CEBBAVS cords. You might as well keep practicing so you can impress her, and maybe see her sparkle those bright, rosy-red eyes more. You sigh in defeat. The things you would do for her…

**Okay, as you probably can make out, I made Eridan's and Jaalas' relationship very close-knit. I'm thinking of either putting them in the heart/diamond quadrant or putting them as an unrelated-by-blood-siblings relationship. Please give your opinions on what I should do so that I can practice on working with your support!**

**1. Collapsing and Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System: Seadweller version of a heart.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Did You Really Need This?!**

**== Be Jaalas.**

You are now Jaalas, and you don't have a fucking clue on how to go about this. The guide had said you must prototype your kernelsprite at least once, but you are unsure what to prototype. You would never prototype your dead mother, she deserves the peace of death. Though you are tempted to use one of the 'Wu you own… But you really don't think you can look at a floating monkey head without feeling squeamish, the unfinished sprite would just dart away if you use the Serpents tail, and the sprite would be driven mad by hearing so many thoughts if you used the mind reader conch, so that would leave-

**CRASH!**

…Please let it not be what you think it is. "Jack Spicer, prepare to be defeated!" The world just **_hates_** you, doesn't it? Then again, it is about to be destroyed by your actions, so you guess it's well deserved. Speaking of which…

**_10:00_**

**_9:59_**

**_9:58_**

Yep, at the worst of times the Brats had to break in, it had to be now. Oh well, since you're yourself again, you might as well try to play innocent until they catch on. That being said, you relax your facial features into a sweet smile, dash up stairs and let the door sweep open in a loud '**BANG!**' "What in tarnation?!"

You hear the four sets of feet run up from the basement and towards the library. Dusting yourself off, they enter and quickly run down the aisles. "You will not get away Spi-" The cheeseball found you first, though it almost took him a whole sentence to realize you weren't Jack. Playing the best look of confusion on your face, you tilt your head to the side. "Who are you?"

**== Jaalas, be the confused cheeseball.**

The little girl in front of you was definitely **not** Jack Spicer. She was too small, and had really pretty hair that reached just below the knees. Looking at her though, she reminds you a lot of the 'evil' genius. "Um…" You couldn't really think of what to say, that look she was giving isn't helping matters either. "Hey, little partner." Ah, maybe your friend Clay can help you with this situation. "What's the holdup?" Seems like Raimundo is here too, though you wonder where Kimiko is.

Turning your attention back to the girl, you note that her fragile frame barely reaches your height. You watch her glance at each of you, her expression troubled. You feel like you owe an explanation, even though you don't know exactly why. Might as well start with introductions. "Hello friend, may I ask what your name is?" She gives a cute pout. "It's not polite to ask someone's name before you give yours."

"Oh, how silly of me! My name is Omi and these are my friends, Clay, Raimundo," you catch sight of Kimiko and gesture to her as you did to Clay and Raimundo. "and Kimiko." She gives you all a sweet smile, making you feel like jelly. "My name's Jaalas. I really hope I'm not bothering you guys."

"No, no!" Suddenly you feel like you didn't want to make her sad, what is this feeling? "We were just looking for the evil Jack Spicer!" She blinks those big, red eyes at you. "You mean Jackie? He left some time ago." You are now even more confused. She knew him? "You know him?" Raimundo asks, a little disbelieving. A big grin appeared on her face. "Yep! He's my big brother!"

"What?!" Kimiko exclaimed. Yes, it was surprising that Jaalas was related to him, but did she have to be so loud? The poor girl flinched in fright. "I-is that bad?" Your heart felt like goo at the hesitant look she gave.

"N-no," Kimiko said quickly, probably trying to pacify the little girl. "it's just surprising that you're related to him." Jaalas gave a giggle, making you suddenly feel hot in the face. "Well, by blood we aren't. I'm adopted, you know?" You stared wide eyed at her. "You mean you where an orphan?" She flinched slightly and looked at the floor, starting to make you feel terrible. "Yeah."

**== Omi, be Jaalas.**

You are starting to regret this massively, one reason being that the cheeseball is starting to show emotions that are going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. Not only that, but being honest for once is now starting to suck when the cheeseball '_oh-so-carefully_' pointed out your orphanage. Damn emotions.

You suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder, making you look up and seeing Raimundo. '_Fuck_.' Is all you can think of when he gives you that devious smile and creeps his hand across your shoulders.

"Don't mind Omi, he can be an idiot at times. Sooo… Jaalas right?"

**== Jaalas, resist the urge to roll your eyes.**

You barely resist the urge to do so by strongly plastering a blank look. "Yes?" "Did you know you had the prettiest ruby-red eyes I've ever seen?"

You barely, barely resist punching the moron the death. Seriously, he has to start hitting on you? Before you responded though, you heard someone cracking their knuckles. Looking behind Raimundo, you almost jump for joy at the murderous look Kimiko was giving him. Maybe if you're lucky, she'll be that type of angry that makes her castrate him. Oh, you would love to see that _very_ much.

Sadly, you caught a glimpse of something that reminds you that you don't have the time for this.

**_6:45_**

**_6:44_**

**_6:43_**

Yep, definitely don't have the time for this. Ignoring the possibly best beating in the history of beatings, you dash away to the basement in a panic. You look back to see if the sprite is still following you. Thankfully, it was only behind you a few feet, but you also saw cheeseball tailing behind it. You pick up the pace, careful not to go to fast so you wouldn't fall down the stairs.

Darting to the cabinet and opening it, you retrieve the Heart of Jong. Good, the Xiaolin Brats hadn't taken it yet. You turn to your kernelsprite, consequentially also turning to Omi who had a confused look on his face. You gave him a sweet smile. "What's wrong Omi?" His eyes dart disbelievingly between the 'Wu and you, probably thinking what you were trying to do. "J-Jaalas. What…" He seemed a little lost for words. Might as well point out the situation gently.

You give one of your nervous smiles –What? You would be to if you were running out of time!– and point to the thankfully untouched screen. "I'm trying to save us from _that_." He turned to the screen filled with huge blazing meteors, paused, and just… stood there. Yep, the poor thing went into shock. Shit… You snap out of your platonic pity for him and proceeded to throw the Heart of Jong to the kernelsprite, which then flashed in a bright, blinding blue light.

"What in tarnation?!"

**== Jaalas, be the cowboy.**

You are now the cowboy, and you don't know what in the world's going on. During the time that Kimiko was beating the ever-loving _crap_ out of your womanizing friend, the little girl, Jaalas, had taken a run for it out of the library. You watched as Omi had followed her like a newly hatched baby duck to its mother. Yep, it was obvious the little partner was in puppy love, as evidenced of the reactions he gave during their interaction with Jaalas; the blushing, the constant reassurance, and the guilty, heartbroken look he gave at Jaalas' sad confession.

So, as a good friend –and an excuse to not get pulled into the matter between the other two 'lovebirds'–, you followed them quietly as they went down the no good varmint's basement. Why did Jaalas go in there? Confused, you followed them in and quietly sneaked down the stairs. Once you reached the bottom, you observed Jaalas as she ripped open the cabinet and took out the Heart of Jong.

Omi sort of stood there in shock, though he wasn't the only one. Was she working for Jack? If so, why the Heart of Jong? Why not another 'Wu that actually did damage? You see her turn around with the 'Wu in hand and look at… what in tarnation is that? It looked like one of the flower patterns your mother would stitch in the doylies she made, except it had a static like look to it and changed rapidly from blue to black.

Omi, didn't seem to see the thing though, he was too busy being rooted to the spot by Jaalas' glance towards him. You watched as she gave him a sweet smile that screamed innocence, and visibly melted his little heart into a puddle of goo. "What's wrong Omi?" He seemed unprepared of the question as he stuttered out - "J-Jaalas. What…". You felt a little bad for the little guy, especially if she had the intention of using a 'Wu on them.

She gave a nervous smile as she pointed to the large screen that you and your friends have taken a liking to break. What you see on the screen, though, has your eyes bulge out in panic. There was a shower of meteors heading directly to the camera, with a much larger, blazing one around the size of your home state tailing right behind them. "I'm trying to save us from _that_." Your eyes snap back to attention of Jaalas, who looked guilty as she watched Omi watch the screen in shock. He definitely took the news hard.

You watch as she then hardened herself with determination and threw the 'Wu at the odd floating design… What? The thing suddenly flashed blindingly, just being the last straw to your silence.

"What in tarnation?"

Once the light faded, you were a little thrown off. Instead of the original flower pattern that the thing had, it was replaced with a featureless head that reminded you of a mannequin's. Lord almighty, that's creepy. "Looks a lot like Slenderman…" Jaalas seemed to think so too, it seems. "Oh well, might as well finish this." A glowing red and blue mask suddenly appeared in her hand, making you backtrack. What in the world is going on?

**== Clay, be Jaalas.**

You are now Jaalas, and you are running out of time. So far so good since you finally prototyped the kernelsprite. Now you just need to break the mask. Raising it above your head, you start to do just that. "What is the meaning of this Spicer?" You scream, before smashing the mask against whatever startled you. A bright light enveloped the whole basement briefly, before fading away.

You find yourself breathing heavily as you look at who it is. Fuck, of all people to show up, it had to be _him_. The pretentious asshole who called himself Chase smirked, probably amused at your reaction. You know you had been suppressing the wrath that takes hold of you every time you see his smug face, and now feels like the time to let it all out.

You lunge.

**== Jaalas, be Omi a few minutes back.**

You find yourself stupidly founded by what you are seeing on the screen. The large, blazing balls of fire seemed to be heading towards the camera. You just, couldn't comprehend it. How did she plan to save you and your friends with the Heart of Jong? Yes, it could probably bring you all back to life, but who would be around to use the 'Wu? Their own ghosts?

You contemplate if this means she's on your side, since she's trying to _save_ the world, not destroy it. You would have been jumping for joy to learn this if-

1. You all weren't about to **die**.

2. You were _terrified_ at the thought of death.

And 3. You were shocked that **_none_** of you have noticed the great danger in the sky.

Though you were soon snapped out of your daze when a bright light flashed behind you like a camera, startling you gravely. What you saw next to Jaalas was… disconcerting. It looked like the Slenderman that was in the game Raimundo made you play. You couldn't sleep for a week because of that.

"Looks a lot like Slenderman…"

Shaking, you turn your attention to the pretty girl, who looked the same as you felt, but she seemed to have shuddered it off quickly. "Oh well, might as well finish this." An odd mask appeared in Jaalas' hand, surprising you greatly. Is she a witch like Wuya?! You tucked away the thought for now as you see her wind her hand up, apparently going to smash what she just summoned.

"What is the meaning of this Spicer?" She screams when Chase suddenly appeared behind her, before turning around and smashing the mask against his face. A bright light burst from the object and covered the whole basement briefly, before fading away.

When she was visible again, Jaalas was panting like she ran one of those marathons. But, after a few seconds passed, her expression changed. You stepped back at her look of pure rage, even if it wasn't directed at you. How can a girl not even as tall as you contain so much hate? Why does she even hate him if they never even met before?

You watch as she lunged at Chase and proceeded to kick his butt, starting by grabbing him by the throat and slamming him repeatedly against the concrete. "Holy cow!" You turn towards the outburst, of which you found out that it came from Clay. He was watching Jaalas as she then started to strangle him and repeatedly stomp on his… his… You are starting to feel faint. Just seeing the pain he is in is almost unbearable.

"Holy…." You then look towards the top of the stair case, spotting the rest of your shocked friends. Raimundo had a lot of bruises on his face, along with a split lip that had a little blood leaking down. Kimiko had a hand on the back of his shirt, looking like she was dragging him along the stairs they are on. Though, she looked horrified at the scene in front of you. Who new Chase could get his butt royally kicked?

During the whole spectacle, Chase had been giving choked screams of pain that probably would scar you for a long, long time. You notice Jaalas had switched tactics and had combined the first two actions; strangling and bashing his head while just kicking his most sensitive place. You're not sure whether to be scared there's someone stronger than Chase, or to be horrified at the way she was displaying her strength. You wonder if you can feel both…

Soon, she seemed to have had enough and threw him at your feet, giving a startling thump. "Omi…" she panted, starting to calm down. "Can you be a dear and take him up stairs?" She stomped off towards and up the staircase, shoving past your stunned friends and out the door.

All of you stood there in shock, staring widely at Chase, who was groaning in pain. Fortunately, Clay – who was carrying a shocked Dojo on his hat– was the first to move by heaving Chase onto his back. "Let me help you there, little buddy…" You nod almost numbly as your gaze remained locked at the door where Jaalas exited. What in the world was that about?

**== Omi, be Jaalas.**

You are now Jaalas, and you need to calm down or you might do something you'll regret soon. You hurry to the kitchen, plopping down on one of the island's many stools and getting out a pudding cup out of your sylladex. After opening it and digging in, you finally started to calm down. Thank whatever human had invented pudding, because you seriously would have been screwed, along with some others, if you didn't have this delightful confection to calm you down.

**== Jaalas, assess the situation.**

The situation?... Well, you now can be taken seriously due to your earlier actions, if not feared. Though you know the fucker deserved it, BIG TIME. The Xiaolin Brats, well…. They probably think you are either violent, crazy, or bipolar. God, you should have contained yourself, because now they will either be suspicious or afraid of you.

Wait…where's the sprite? It should have been behind you when you absconded…. Oh well, it'll turn up sooner or later, so you don't worry too much. Once you have finished your cup, you decide to check where in the world you transported to. You hope it's not in Russia or near one of the poles, you just can't stand the cold. You open the front door, gasp, and close it again.

**== Jaalas, hold in sorrowful scream.**

You fail to hold in the scream, which was very loud by the way, and repeatedly punch the floor beneath you. Good thing it's reinforced with steel fibers. "Why." **_Punch._** "Did It." **_Punch._** "Have to be." **_Punch_**. "Fucking." **_Punch._** "High?!" **_Crack_**. Shit, you cracked a panel. That's going to be a bitch to replace.

You suddenly feel like you're being watched, and when you look up, you see the Xiaolin Brats, Dojo, and Chase –who was being carried by Clay– staring at you wide eyed. Yep, they definitely think you're crazy. Getting up, you head back to the library, hearing quiet footsteps trail behind you.

Well, they're not totally afraid of you, at least not to the point they go looking for an exit. They wouldn't want to know that they were possibly hundreds, if not thousands of miles high in the air to the point they're above clouds. That would just cause them to panic. You enter the secret doorway, gliding down the stairs and immediately going straight to your mother's skeleton.

You gaze at it for a while, caressing the muzzle once more. You somehow get the feeling that you'll need to keep a part of her with you, but you're a little reluctant on taking apart what's left of her. You think of what exactly to take, before looking straight into the soulless holes that served as a place for her eyes. You think you know what to take.

You quickly jab the juncture that held the skull and neck together, making sure to take the mandible off as well. Taking what's left, you set it aside near the armory, that of which you look through for something suitable to wear. You don't want to snag on something or be slowed down by extra weight, so you need something…. "Ah-ha!" You pull out a spandex one piece that usually acted like a wet suit when you go diving, but this will go well with what you're putting together. You grab the skull and head back upstairs, passing the silent group at the entrance. Huh, they've been quiet for a while. Wonder what they're thinking. You enter the nearest bathroom, locking the door and starting to strip.

**== Jaalas, be Kimiko.**

You are now Kimiko, and you don't know just what to think. One minute, Jaalas was beating the shit out of Chase –but let's face it, he sort of deserved it –, the next, she was having such a pained look that screamed vulnerability as she had interacted with the large lion skeleton –or you at least think it is, it could be a wolf or cougar skeleton for all you know–. You don't know what kind of sentimentality the thing was to her, though you know it was important.

You…feel indecisive. On one hand, Jaalas showed she could be violent and very dangerous. On another, she showed she held things in regard and thus had a soft side. Though her previous actions screamed that you needed to get out of there, you soon realized she has no intention of hurting any of you. Well, _besides_ Chase.

Glancing at Omi though, you feel a little bad. The poor thing had a good crush going on for her before that incident, but now… you're not sure how he feels. You hope that if he still harbors that crush, he at least would take it slow, because you have a bad feeling that if he doesn't, he'll be crushed.

You watch as she gathered what she took out, went upstairs, and entered a bathroom, closing the door and locking it with a small _click_. You wonder if why she was changing clothes. Was she changing to distract herself? Somehow, you doubt that she had the same habit as you. But, you wonder…

After a few minutes, Jaalas immerges again, only this time looking totally different. She was fully covered in black from the spandex, excluding the hands and feet. The hands because she somehow had gotten these weird gloves that actually complemented the spandex, and that's saying something since you're an expert in fashion and spandex almost _never_ fits the bill on anyone.

Her feet, of course, were covered by these boots that had the same sort of designas the gloves. You wonder where she got those, they must be pretty hard to get, even when rich. You see that she situated the skull like an elbum, perched on her back facing towards the floor. Though, you wonder what's with the metal collar and watch, they both look so … Gaudy. The good thing is they're barely noticeable against the black spandex and gloves, or you would have marched up to her and made her take them off.

Well, maybe not go and be that daring, since you may be wrong about her and she was just ignoring you all… Yeah, that would have been a big no-no, and none of you would want to end up like Chase. Speaking of which…

**== Kimiko, be Raimundo.**

You are now Raimundo and as you watch Chase arriving into the land of consciousness, grunting in pain as he slightly moves his legs, you flinch in symphony. A lot of feisty girls you flirted with often aimed for the sacred –and sensitive– place, so you can just imagine the pain he's in after that kind of beating. Too bad he's immortal, because he probably is now scarred for the rest of his life.

Thinking back, you're glad Kimiko beat her to, well, kicking your ass. You may be daring, but not to the point that you want your junk pummeled and possibly crushed to no repair. God, that is worst case scenario for every man. You continue to watch Chase as he flexed each limb and pressed around on his torso, probably looking for anything broken or sore.

You turn at the sound of footsteps approaching, and balk. Jaalas sure dressed for wear, having the thin, black spandex cling to her lithe figure and having the skull from earlier perched in a way that didn't prevent any sort of movement. Though why was she….Oh please let it not be a round two.

Thankfully, she stopped a foot away from Chase, making eye contact. You notice Chase had immediately tensed when he caught sight of her, but soon started to relax as they stared longer and longer. She held out a hand, of which Chase cautiously took, and pulled him up easily. "Next time," she grunted out, narrowing her eyes. "don't scare the shit out of me. Especially when I'm in a situation where lives are at stake."

Jaalas abruptly started to walk away, before –"Did we meet before?" She jolted to a stop and peered over her shoulder. "Yes. Some long time ago, you'll be surprised how one person can get around." She walked off, not really clarifying what she meant. You watched as she exited through the front door, disappearing into the gray expanse. Wait… gray?

You hurry after her in alarm, and stopped in surprise. This is definitely **not** China…

**Hello again everyone! You are probably wondering what exactly is going on between Chase and Jaalas, and let me you tell you this: Time doesn't effect Jaalas since she had the shitty transporter for a while, and she was bound to meet him. It's just… a very sad thing to reveal later, so sit tight. Please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Where the FUCK Are We?**

**== Be Jaalas.**

You are now Jaalas, and you have no fucking clue where you are. The only thing you're positive about is that you're definitely not on Earth _or_ Alternia. Maybe another planet? If so, who –or what– exactly lives here? You hope that the residents here aren't bloodthirsty, because then you're not sure you can prevent them from eating the others.

You look around, surveying the small strip of land around the mansion and the cloudy expanse surrounding you. At least you're apparently safe from any threats, well, any land threats as far as you're concerned. Until you figure out these concerns, you might as well explore. But first…

You take out your computer again, closing the Sburb page and opening up Pesterchum, and quickly logged in. Great, Eridan's still on! Now you can –

"What's that?" Holding in an annoyed groan, you turn to Raimundo, who apparently had followed you outside. "What? You mean the computer?" He rolls his eyes. "No, the website. Last time I checked, there wasn't any sort of website existing with that name." You chuckle slightly, shaking your head. "That's because it doesn't exist here." "…What?"

You inwardly panic. Shit, you almost gave away your actual knowledge, and you seriously don't want to deal with the Xiaolin Brats and Chase on that yet. With quick thinking, you start to play cool. "You heard me." "That's not what I meant, I mean–" He pauses, probably rethinking his question. "How is that possible?!" You snort. "You forget that my brother is a genius despite his shortcomings." You turn back to the computer, clicking on Eridan's username. "I mean, he did build a time machine and has been involved with a fucking ghost-witch most of the time since he entered the Xiaolin–Heylin conflict." "Oh, yeah…"

Snorting again, you type quickly in the chat box.

- whiteChimera [WC} began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] -

WC: HELLO? ERIDAN, are you there?

WC: I'M in a little trouble, and I think I may have doomed the existence of human kind.

WC: PLEASE tell me you're getting this, Eridan.

WC: I don't know how long I can stay put before probably getting into more trouble.

WC: ERIDAN, if you get any of this, please answer me soon.

- whiteChimera [WC] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] -

"Oh well." You sigh, feeling disappointed. You hear a restrained laugh, making you turn back to Raimundo. "That's how you type? Wow." You roll your eyes, feeling exasperated and a little insulted. "Well SO-RRY that I have to use large words since I can barely see _shit_ with my fucking eyes." He holds his hands up in defense, which probably wouldn't have done much in preventing you from beating him into a pulp otherwise.

"Whoa, calm down! I just thought it was weird since you apparently know how to type faster than me. Speaking of which, who was it that you were trying to get a hold of? And why now of all times?" "Oh, Eri is a friend of mine, we usually would chat a lot here." "Oh, is she usually not there?"

You couldn't help it as you burst into a fit of laughter.

"Er, I think you broke the little miss, Rai." Huh, looks like Clay came out as well, though you couldn't really care less as you held your heaving stomach in mirth. "What did I say?" "Y-you, pwahahaha. You thought E-Eri was a pffthahaha!" You managed to force out, more or less along those lines. You caught a look of understanding in Kimiko's eyes when you peaked up from your shaking form. Huh, everyone was out, even Dojo.

"You mean Eri is a boy, not a girl?" You nod, slowly getting your bearings. "Yeah, but–" You glance back at Raimundo with a confused expression. "why did you think he was a girl? Was it because of the nickname?" He snickered. "That's his nickname? Poor guy." You stick your tongue out at him. "Shut up. That was the first one I have ever given, and I was six years old at the time."

"He's a childhood friend?" Kimiko asked, probably interested to know your personal history. "Yep! Ever since I moved, we had to constantly be on this–" you point to the computer. "to keep track of each other." You turned back to the computer, feeling worried. "Though, I'm wondering what is keeping him away?" You contemplate on the possibilities of what's happening, before picking up the computer and going back inside.

**== Jaalas, be Eridan.**

You are now Eridan, and you are fucking exhausted. After dealing with that atrocious game, having your moirail break up with you, and barely escaping death, of course you're feeling this way. Not to mention you still feel a little down after your break up, even if the moirailship was mainly faked just so you can stay sane and keep in the act for the sake of keeping everyone safe. The things you **do** for these assholes.

Maybe you should contact Jaalas, she always cheers you up even in the worst of times. You proceed to log into Trollian, clicking at her username and opening the chat box. Huh, seems that she tried contacting you. You probably should notify her that you're online. You start to type in your reply before –

**CRASH!**

"Wwhat the fuck wwas that?" "Ow…" Oh it's Jaalas. But why?… You go and investigate the loud crash, which led you towards the entertainment room. What you find there is surprising to say the least. Instead of her usual look before she comes here, she's back to her more normal state and is wearing quite a badass outfit consisting of spandex, black gloves and boots, a small machine that looked like a watch, and the top part of her mother's skull. She was sprawled on the floor face down with glass shards littered around her, making you look up. Seems like she fell through the sky window…

You rush to her quickly, flipping her over and lifting her off the ground. "Shitshitshitshit…" You know you should calm down, but it sort of scares you when you see the terrifying blank look Jaalas was now sporting. Shit, you hope she's alright, but you don't know what to do…

You stop in your tracks, turn a complete 180, and head towards the kitchen, specifically the fridge. You shift her to a shoulder so you can open the right door. You quickly spot what you're looking for and grab a packet. Setting her on the countertop, you open the pudding cup and wave it under her nose.

"B-banana…" Her eyes snap open, glistening with happiness, hopefulness, excitement, and so many other emotions that you couldn't quite make out. "PUDDING!" She snatches the pudding cup from your hand greedily, somehow managing not to spill anything, and **_chugs_** the confection like water, slurping and gulping like there's no tomorrow.

You couldn't help but giggle at the sight, which seemed to finally catch the attention of her as she cleans the container with slow licks. She grins, giving the cup one last lick and perfectly basketing it into the trash can behind you. "What's so funny, Eri?" You grin back at her. "You're so predictable wwhen it comes to puddin', you knoww that?"

She gives a serious look, spreading her hands before her. "Pudding… is the base of all happiness. It is the physical reincarnation of joy and life. If there was no place to have this glorious confection…" She thrusts her hands up towards the sky –well, roof since you're inside-. "That place would absolutely be full of nothing but despair." "Uh-huh…" You are dubious beyond belief, hell, everyone would be if she puts her obsession with pudding that far.

Then again, that's the only thing keeping her sane on that cod forsaken planet. Speaking of which… "Why are you here anyway? I thought you wwere back on earth." She gives you an overly cheerful smile, rubbing the back of her head as she sweated bullets. "Well, that's a funny story…"

**_~Thirty minutes ago in Jaalas' perspective.~_**

_You were packing, preparing for the inevitable outcome that would only change with your personality. You were going to blow this Popsicle stand and finally explore this shitty place. As you captchalogued the essentials –First aid kit, month supply of pudding, extra set of your current outfit…– you felt the disbelieving stares of everyone on you, making you huff._

_"What the ever-loving __**fuck**__ do you want from me?" Chase steps up to answer, albeit carefully and with a good yard between you. Smart. "It's apparent that we're curious of what is it that you're using." Rolling your eyes, you draw out a blank card, holding it out for them to see. "You remember that my brother was a genius, right? Well, he invented this in order to make travel easier, mostly for the purpose of our parents. It's called a Sylladex card, and by pressing this button here–"_

_You gesture to the button located at the corner. " you can contain a certain amount of items, including living things. Since there were some extras, he gave them to me as a birthday present." You see Kimiko open her mouth in excitement, looking at the card like it was the reincarnation of Jesus. "And no, I don't have any more, so don't ask if you can have some." "Aw, no fair!" Raimundo seemed to hold the same thought as Kimiko, though less obvious about it._

_You give them a grin as you captchalogue the last item, heading outside into the cloudy gloom. "Now, unless you want to explore as well, you might as well become acquainted to the mansion's living space." "And why would that be useful?" At least Clay is asking nicely. "Because I have a feeling this is going to be your living space until we can find another place to be in."_

_You walk to the edge of the platform where the mansion sits, pulling out a parachute that was lying around your adoptive mother's adventure kit, and survey below you. You can't really see what exactly is under this dense and dusty cloud, but you know you're high enough for your ears to start popping._

_You crouch down, preparing for a leap. "Until then–" You pause, looking up towards an odd sound slowly coming closer. HHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- Wait a second, is that? –OOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN- Your eyes widen as the sound comes closer, not believing what you're hearing. -NNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! A white car burst through the gray clouds above you, barely giving you any time before-_

**_Bang!_**

_Suddenly you felt really woozy… and weightless. Looking down, you see the ground rapidly coming closer as the wind whipped around you. Huh, you fell off…. HOLY SHIT, YOU FELL OFF! Sluggishly, but quickly as you could because woweverythingwasspinning, you tap the set coordinates that you installed into that nameless machinery and everything'sblurry-wowisthatblood?-before blackness enveloped you._

**_~Back to the present~_**

"…and then I woke up to being treated to a cold, delicious pudding cup."

You barely resist the urge to face palm as you maintained a blank expression. "…You mean to tell me you just had around four-thousand fuckin' pounds a metal _land on your head_ and knock you off a cliff, _a wwhich __**survivvin'**_ the fall a ovver a hundred miles?" She gives you a dopey smile. "Yep."

**== Eridan, resist the urge to do a dramatic facepalm.**

You fail dramatically at resisting to do the most dramatic face palms in the history of face palms, which resulted in a hand-shaped red mark in the middle of your forehead. "You're definitely goin' to be the death a me." She stuck out her tongue. "Shut up, it wasn't like I asked to be bashed over the head by a shitty car." "You still scare the shit out a me though." She giggled. "Well deal with it and the gray hairs."

You deadpan, looking at her in disbelief. "You knoww vvery wwell that it's impossible for trolls to change hair color, _especially_ you." She hangs her head in mock guilt. "I know, I know. But _you_ know how the human culture is very influential to me." You sigh in defeat. She has got you there. "True, but still, gray hairs? How is it that humans are so weird?"

She shrugs, probably as stumped as you. "I don't know. I didn't make their species, only learned of them." "Their wweirdness aside," You tilt your head to the side, feeling curios. "Howw are the humans so far treatin' you in this form?" She sighs in frustration, a clear sign one of them pissed her off. "Like idiotic _wigglers_. The wind brat tried flirting with me, the cheeseball has been crushing on me since the first second he saw me, and Chase scared the shit out of me during a very critical time…Which led to his manhood's –or what's left of it– demise."

You whistle in awe. "That's the only one you injured? That's quite an accomplishment." She gives a smile. "It is. Though I'm surprised they didn't figure out yet that earth just got destroyed." "Wwait, wwait, _wwait_- Earth's destroyed? As in, not existin' anymore?" She slumps her shoulders, leaning back on the counter. "Sadly, yes." "Wwell…shit." Who knew two worlds can cease to exist in a short span of time?...Wait a minute.

You snap your head towards her in alarm, feeling a sense of dread. "By chance did it get demolished by a certain vvideo game?" Her head snaps towards you, her eyes wide with surprise. "Yes, exactly! But how?..."

3.

2.

1…

She flops onto the counter, her expression unreadable. "Well….shit. Alternia's gone? Like, really _gone_?" You sigh, suddenly feeling very tired. "Yes, all because a that shitty game called Sgrub." She gives a weak laugh. "Funny. The one I got was named Sburb." You give a halfhearted chuckle, probably because its name had an unneeded change. "Wwhoever the fuck made that game deservves a kick to the crotch/ bonebulge." She laughs a little more genuine. "With me doing the kicking."

You both give into a fit of dark chuckles –well giggles, but who cares?– as you both imagine the pain of the mystery creator.

**== Be the poor sap that was the 'mystery creator'.**

You are Andrew Hussie and you are regretting on making this comic. Already two characters wants to beat your crotch in and you barely got started, not to mention they don't even know you yet. God, what have you done?

You must hide. Hide and keep on writing for the sake of finishing what you started.

Until then, you'll be under the desk sucking your thumb and sobbing like any sane, _grown_ man would do.

**== Andrew, be the shocked cheeseball thirty-five minutes ago.**

You are now the cheeseball, and you are royally freaking out along with your friends and Dojo. Chase is just there staring in shock. Just where in the world did that car come from? Last time you checked, cars were supposed to be on roads and not flying. Why of all people did it have to hit Jaalas? Why did she have to be at the edge of that cliff? And why are you wasting time questioning yourself, when she may be falling to her potentially painful death?

"Dojo! We have got to save her!" He seemed to know what you mean as he enlarged, grabbed all of you, and immediately went down the cliff. You soon burst though the gray clouds and descend, looking around franticly below. You couldn't find a speck of white among the blue, glowing rocks and yellow dots that you couldn't quite make out.

She's not there… Looking behind you, you can see your friends had made the same shocking conclusion. Just were was she? Why wasn't she…? Dojo soon landed back to the mansion and shank without a word, probably stunned of the current set of events.

Well, the proverbial manure really hit the whirling device.

**== Omi, be Jaalas.**

After you and Eridan have planned the painful demise of the mysterious creator of Sgrub/Sburb, you decided to explore the world he had arrived in. The currant landscape that surrounded Eridan's ship was… normal by human standards. It consisted of cobblestone roads and white brick buildings that sort of reminded you of a town you used to know, but the obvious differences like the vacancy and cheery atmosphere helps calm your nerves.

The…. town you last visited is still a sore subject, so you don't dwell on the thought. Looking around though, you couldn't find any sort of life. That is, until you heard soft crying. You and Eridan shared a look of worry. Who is that and why are they crying? Walking towards the sound, you notice it sounded young, like a child.

Once you arrived to the source, you find the sound coming from a little boy with brown hair. He was curled up with his head between his knees, shoulders shaking violently. Your gut twists in worry, and a little symphony, as you watched the sad sight. Just who would leave a child to cry by themselves?

Gaining resolve, you walk towards the boy, noticing more features as you come closer. He had a pair of thin, bat-like wings on his upper back along with black nails on his hands and bare feet. The rest of his body was covered in scales, making him look like a snake even without seeing his face. "Are you alright?" You find yourself asking, crouching down just a foot away. He didn't seem to hear you as he kept on crying. You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder, making him immediately cease crying. Behind you, you can hear Eridan shift warily, unsettled.

"Are you alr-yaaaahh!" He lunged at you with his clawed hand, making you bend backwards and scramble away in alarm. His features was suddenly more feral and dark, his whole being becoming a wrathful figure of blackness, having his glowing red eyes trained on you and Eridan.

Suddenly both of you are surrounded by much larger figures, which where hissing and spitting as they advanced closer and closer to you. Naturally, you had done what any sane man would have done.

Screaming, you and Eridan dashed past one of them and ran down the street in panic, sadly soon finding out this just attracted more after you. "Wwhy the hell did you havve to do that?" Eridan had panicky tears run out of his eyes, which trailed behind them from the rushing wind as they ran. You yourself weren't any better as you felt hot, wet trails collect behind you. "How the fuck am I supposed to know that he would turn into a hateful, spitting asshole?" "I knoww you wwouldn't knoww that, but–" You and Eridan turn a corner, heading towards his ship.

"Remember wwhen I said that you wwere goin' to be the death a me?!" The black, spitting douchebags darted in front of you, separating them from their chance of safety. "This is the best fuckin' example a wwhat I meant!" Fed up, he draws Ahab's Crosshairs and fires, obliterating the five demons…. And shooting off the mast to his ship.

He blinks in surprise. "That wwas…pretty easy." "Why the ever-loving fuck didn't you do that before?!" You find yourself yelling, not really in anger but not yet done crying, in exasperation. "Howw the hell wwas I supposed to think straight wwith ovver twwenty a those shitty fuckers behind….us….." You pause in shock, before slowly turning your head behind you.

The large, spitting mass that had gathered behind you **_roared_**, making you do the next most sensible thing a man would do. You press the button on the edge of your right glove, making the gloves flash brightly and give a loud pop. Once the light died down, you find yourself in relieved admiration. In your hands, you held the most explosive gun in the existence of humans. "The rocket launcher…" You turn to the black crowd of assholes with a sadistic smile, having Eridan join you as he realized you made them have the upper hand.

Oh this is going to be _so_ much fun…

For the next three hours, you and Eridan laughed in glee as you blasted the assholes to smithereens.

**== Jaalas be Andrew.**

…Why in the world did you just do that? Do you have a death wish? Are you **on** a death wish? Why did you give a very dangerous girl the advantage of being an unpredictable, sadistic bitch with powerful weaponry that apparently doesn't run out of ammo? What will you do?

"Rufio, help me…"

Sadly he is as fake as fakey, fake fakes can be, so you're screwed if they find you.

**== Andrew, pray for mercy.**

Mercy? Mercy?! When exactly does Jaalas and Eridan look like they'll give mercy right now? Seeing their gleefully sadistic expressions as they blasted the 'angels', you see you won't get to even scream as they pummel you to death. So, you do what any man ought to do in a situation like this.

You scream like a pansy and hide in your safe with your Rufio plushy.

**== Andrew, be Chase.**

You are now Chase, and you feel you're one of the luckiest bastards among all the fucking bastards, but you don't know why… And you don't want to find out.

Though, you are suspicious of the disappearance of that younger Spicer, Jaalas. But you felt like you met her before, and she herself had confirmed that you indeed have met. But when…? Until you do figure it out, you relish the fact that you had survived the brutal beating you received, especially since your immortality didn't include regeneration.

But you don't want to push your luck, since Jaalas has a chance of still being alive and you might have a chance of incurring her wrath.

The saying '_Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._' Is fairly accurate to say the least, _especially_ when concerning that girl. Again, you bask in your apparent luckiness in keeping your manhood and life intact.

Oh, you **_hope_** that doesn't happen again.

**Despite how I depicted Andrew Hussie right now, I'm a really a big fan of his work! I don't really hate him or anything, but the characters… Yeah, I'm a sadistic bitch, so forgive me fellow Hussie fans! Anyways, most of this is intended for comedic relief for those who hadn't figured it out already, but there will be more serious instances in the future, like One Piece. Though I can never make this story as well as either Hussie or Oda would have… Aside from that, please rate and review on how you think!**

**P.S: Sorry I took longer uploading this, it's really hard to wake up in Saturdays for some reason!**


	7. Not A Chapter!

Not a Chapter, Just A Vacational Break

Just to clear this up, this is not a chapter, at all. I just want to warn all of you readers that this and next Sunday wonm taking advantage of this prolonged time to finish up as many chapters as I can, so hold on tight until 3/22/14, when I will start up my chapters again. Anyways, I thank you for the support fellow readers/writers!

Until then,

CupcakesREvil.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Silly Imps, Scary Ogres, And A Strange Sprite**

**== Be Omi.**

You are now Omi, and you are a concerned mess. Where in the world is Jaalas? Is she alright? What happened to her? Why did she disappear? How did she disappear? Will she come back? Is so, when?

As you contemplate these questions, you can hear one of your friends pace behind you, probably thinking the same questions as you. Besides that, the whole mansion is quiet.

_**CRASH!**_

Well, was. Snapping your heads towards the sound, you, your friends, and Chase dash towards the sound. Stopping in the basement, you all gap at the scene. The basement was smeared in black, oily sludge that seemed to seep into large puddles. Small, black creatures wearing jester clothes were dripping the stuff as they messed around with a large machine –probably Jack's- in the corner. The odd fellows had narrow, white eyes and sharp teeth that probably as sharp as razors. They hardly looked menacing, though, with the gleeful smiles they had as they messed around with the wheel, making blue, cylinder blocks pop out every now and then.

Naturally, you decide to greet the strange creatures. "Hello my friends! May I ask who you are?" They all froze in their activities, snapping their heads towards you. "Uh, Omi…" Ignoring Kimiko, you smile at the creatures, who only blinked in confusion as you continued. "We may not be in our home, but it is impolite to enter a person's house without their permission, no?"

They continue to blink at you confusedly, making you tilt your head in confusion as well. "Um, little buddy? I don't think that they speak English." As if to confirm his statement, one of them chitters and clicks at you, making wild gestures towards the machine they were playing with earlier. "It looks like they just wanted to play with one of Jack's machines." You nod in understanding. Some of Jack Spicer's machines _did_ look tempting to mess around with sometimes, you yourself barely resisting the urge to do what these creatures where doing. Seeming to think of your nod as a sign of approval, they continued on what they were doing enthusiastically.

Seeing as they weren't doing any sort of harm or damage, you all go back upstairs to the kitchen. Whatever those things are, they sure are nice.

**== Omi, be Jaalas.**

You felt a jolt of alarm course through you as you and Eridan make your way back to the ship-hive, making you feel… exasperated, oddly enough. Noticing you stop, Eridan turns to you. "Is there somethin' wwrong?" You shake your head, feeling a little unsure. "No, but…" You continue to walk, a little tired from obliterating hordes of angry, scaly assholes. "I have a feeling something happened that deserved a well done face-palm."

Chuckling, he follows you. "I wwouldn't put it past a feww a the trolls to havve done somethin' pupa-ish or stupid." You chuckle as well, knowing very well he was right.

As you both advance to his shiphive, Eridan seemed to go into deep thought. "Hey, Jaal?" You give a tired "Hm?" "Do you think wwe might be able to vvisit each other's wworlds? It wwould be kind a scary to think anyone might drop in and see me actin' different, especially that I havve been like that for swweeps." You bit your lip, feeling worried. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure. This game is new to me as well despite the involvement of saving four kids, a dragon, and a douche warlord. I just got answers from a website, oddly enough."

"A wwebsite? I thought you said that you got the game as an unreleased prize?" "That's what I thought as well, but either the original creator had put it there in order to give players a starting chance or…" You let the thought hang as you notice something… something odd. "Hey Eri?" "Yeah?" "Did you prototype your sprite _at all_?" "Yes, but wwhy..?" He noticed them as he followed your line of sight, trailing off at his question.

Above his hive was twelve blue Sburb cover designs shaping and reshaping above his house, all in a straight line above each other. They glowed brightly as they shifted, repeating their movement frequently. "Hey, Jaal?" "Yeah?" "Howw the fuck did wwe not notice that?" "To tell you the truth," you break into laughter, making Eridan look at you exasperatedly.

"I don't have a fucking clue."

**== Jaalas, be Chase.**

You are now Chase, and you are perplexed to say the least. These oddly shaped patterns had been there above Spicer's mansion ever since they arrived here. You had only just noticed due to the thick clouds covering the area. It was actually a stroke of luck to even notice the faint blue glow they gave off. You wonder what they are…

You wander back inside, heading towards the basement. Turns out that the creatures were called Imps, or at least according to the website the dragon of fire conveniently found. Though, the thought of all this happening because of an unconventional game unsettles you. Currently, Kimiko is searching for answers in the website, which was simply named 'Sburb Game Guide'. You don't know exactly how that is possible since you never had heard of the game during your extended lifespan, but then again you do live in a mountain that holds no internet connection or cable whatsoever.

Since you have nothing to do you might as well try to go down memory lane. Where and when did you meet the younger Spicer, Jaalas? You only met three albinos in your life, and two of them were just mere parts of the background. But, the third one…

"HEHEHEHEHE!"

You jump at the sound, slightly startled at the pitch and sudden timing. Looking around, you don't see anyone, but years of training as both a Xiaolin monk and a dragon warlord gives you enough experience that proved that just because you couldn't _see_ your opponent, doesn't mean that they aren't _there_. Someone tapped your shoulder, making you whip around and see… none. You hear another giggle, making you snap your head back towards the sound. What you saw was… slightly disturbing.

A creature that looked like a white, featureless ghost was weaving back and forth in front of you, giggling at your shocked expression. It was covered with large bones that looked similar to a lion's but it was missing a physical –or you think it's physical, but you really don't want to know at the moment– head, only having a sort of shadow giving an outline of it. Glowing red eyes seemed to pierce right through you.

You would have been scared shitless if it weren't for the fact that there was a hint of playfulness in the depths of its eyes. Like the imps, it seemed not want to harm you, though it definitely wanted your attention. "HEHEHEHEHE, you are Chase aren't you?" You were caught off guard, not really expecting a coherent dialogue. Though, maybe you can get some answers from it, such as the most common response.

"How do you know my name?" It giggled again, twirling in an erratic motion. "You were there!" You roll your eyes, not really understanding its vague response. "And where exactly was I that causes your reaction?" Suddenly darting close to the point it was in your face, it grins…Which sort of alarmed you with the razor sharp teeth it showed. "My creation."

You are skeptical. You are very sure you never met or even seen this absurd creature, and the only thing that comes close is the creature that was momentarily there before the transportation…..to…..here.

You felt like doing a cliché face palm. Just where is your head today? The creature obviously was derived from the odd, featureless being that was there before….before….Yeah, you don't want to continue to think about that.

As if reading your mind, it giggles again, doing a lazy backflip that just seemed unnecessary. "You're lucky Jaalas didn't actually want to kill you, or she would have done something far more painful than what she had done earlier." You give a surprised –perhaps scared- look. You really don't want to know how it new that and what exactly could be worse than what you had received.

"HEHEHE, your expression tells me that you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, though that may be because of your shock. Anyhow, you should probably gather everyone up before–"

**Bang!**

It seemed to frown as it turned towards the front of the mansion. "Oh, dear. They seemed to have arrived." Alarmed you look at the floating being. "And what, pray tell, are they?" It giggled as it melted into the floor. "The ogres of course!" It then disappeared, leaving behind a white, gooey substance that you really don't want to know what the hell it is.

Deciding to follow the creature's instructions, you head down to the basement. The Xiaolin Dragons had all either wanted to join the Imps or to actually do something productive. Sadly, the boys of their small group abandoned the fire dragon to do the latter while they did the former. Turns out the female population of the sad species that calls themselves humans is actually knowledgeable enough to know how to work an easy access computer while the males don't even know how to turn it on.

You watch their activities for a moment. Apparently they somehow found a piñata shaped like one of Spicer's goggle lenses. Though, you feel like you don't have time for this shit and decide to make yourself known, that being by clearing his throat loudly.

Everyone, even Kimiko, paused and turned their attention to you, making you feel a little uneasy. "Unless you want me to deal with them, we have a few new 'guests'."

**Bang! Bang! Crunch!**

"Their heads snapped up to the noise, surprised etched deeply in their faces. "What in tarnation is that?!" You glance at the large Texan, feeling as shocked as he sounded. "That would be our 'guests'." Looking at the Imps, you could tell they knew exactly what guests they had as they hid fearfully behind the machine they were playing with earlier. You travel back upstairs, hearing them scramble behind you as they went to find out what exactly you meant.

When you arrived back to the living room, you finally saw _why_ the Imps were so scared shitless. The two ogres were fucking huge versions of the cowering Imps, only more brutish and having large tusks protruding from their mouths outwardly. In size, they were _at least_ twice as large as Dojo once he expanded to his original size. Not to mention that once they caught sight of you, they looked like they were contemplating whether to eat you or not.

You all are so screwed if you don't do something.

**== Chase, be Jaalas.**

Suddenly, you feel a great urge to check up on the Xiaolin Brats and Chase, though you don't have the vaguest idea why. Good thing you brought your computer. As you logged in to the Sburb Server, Eridan was busy getting cups for the milk that you wanted to go with the cookies both of you have baked. They were the delicious, chewy chocolate chip kind that had the chocolate just melt in your mouth. It's the best batch you've made so far, and you're really proud at the progress Eridan has made on his cooking skills.

Once you've opened the window, though, you are surprised by what you see. Two brutish, black creatures that towered the group of kids and dragon warlord seemed to have broken a large hole into the front of the mansion. The expressions each one of them was priceless and had mad e you burst out laughing. That is, until you noticed one of them was munching on the edge of the fridge….

**== Jaalas, be Eridan.**

You watch as Jaalas bursts into laughter, before cutting off into an alarming silence. She stares at the computer screen with an unreadable expression, a great indicator that she is either about to explode or hold it in and inflict a dangerous amount of damage to someone. Seeing her close the laptop, you're guessing the latter. "Eridan, would you like to come with me? I need to do something very quick."

Being you, you would like to see what exactly set her off. That, and the cookies needed to cool and harden, so this can be something to kill the time while you wait. You wonder what she is going to do this time. Maybe do the old 'Ball Crusher'?

Nodding, you grab her hand and hold on tight, which she then swings you on her back. Looking at her for an explanation, she smiles. "They are pretty huge and I wanted to enter stylishly, so it's probably best you don't hang on my soon to be _very_ bloody hands." You trust her judgment and hold on tightly, though you have to wonder who 'they' are. And what exactly did they do to deserve her attention.

She punches in a few buttons, having the watch count down and ready you both for travel. For now, you're just concerned of the blood that may fly as you teleport to the mansion.

**== Eridan, be Kimiko.**

You are now Kimiko, and you are feeling foolish. Of course you know what these things are, but you thought the descriptions were exaggerated! You didn't expect… this! You start to shake as they step closer to you, one of them already finishing the large refrigerator it had started to eat. God, that was scary to think what they can do, especially if they're bigger than Dojo and Cyclops combined.

Just as they were only two meters away from you, a bright flash of light appeared above their heads, quickly dissipating and revealing Jaalas and… some sort of fish-boy, though you're not sure because the next thing you know, Jaalas punched the ogre that was chewing on the refrigerator and knocked several teeth and one of its tusks out…

Wait, did she just fucking punched its teeth out?! What the hell is she having to have that much strength? Mega steroids? She proceeds to beat the shit out of the poor thing, having the fish boy cling on to her back more tightly as blood began to fly, though he didn't seem as fazed at her actions as you and everyone else was. Speaking of which, everyone –save for Jaalas, the fish boy, and the suffering ogre- had their jaws dropped to the floor comically, even the ogre-that-was-being-beaten-to-death's companion.

You have to admit, this whole scene would have been funny if it weren't for the fact that Jaalas was now, and somehow, managing to choke it and bang it against the ground repeatedly. From the corner of your vision, you see Chase wince in sympathy. You've almost forgotten his earlier ordeal. Weird that it hadn't really scarred you as much as the scene that was occurring right in front of you.

You hope she doesn't do as much damage to the ogre despite its hostile greeting. You really never seen something die before, and well… You really don't want to see something die in front of you like _this_. Jaalas, though, didn't seem to share the same sentiment as she started to flip it repeatedly, smashing the ogre into the ground to the point that it felt like an earthquake. It's friend, probably scared out of its mind, backs away quickly, jumping out of the mansion and onto a nearby landform, disappearing as it went higher into the clouds.

You couldn't blame the ogre, so you don't hold any bad thoughts to it. Though you do wonder where that lead to…

With a last slam, the ogre Jaalas had had burst into a pile of gems…. What?! Jaalas seemed to be surprised as you are, with the fish-boy blinking at it in shock. "Is that supposed to happen?" The fish-boy tilted his head to the side, oddly looking like a puppy. "Maybe since this is part a the game, it runs as a bash-and-rewward system?" "You mean they're like living piñatas?" It glances at you with its yellow, cat-like eyes. "Wwe could ask the 'tech geek'."

You step back in surprise. How did it know that you were good with computers? Jaalas turns to you, breaking into a smile and waving excitedly to your group. "Hi everyone! Sorry I couldn't come back sooner, Eri and I were making cookies!" You see the fish-boy slump in despair, placing his forehead into the small of her neck. "Wwhen wwill you stop callin' me that?" She grins at him. "Never!"

**== Kimiko, be Raimundo.**

You… are perplexed. Apparently, 'Eri' was the fishboy, go figure. But how did they even meet? She doesn't seem like the type to go explore a lot, though you may be wrong since you had thought earlier that she couldn't even be able to lift Omi. Boy, were you wrong at that.

Examining him, the fish-boy had the outdated look of a weird hipster by wearing pin-striped pants, a black long sleeved shirt, a periwinkle-blue scarf, a large purple cape, and _a lot_ of rings. You also notice he also has a purple streak in his hair and wavy horns that pointed out behind him. Yep, his appearance just _screamed_ hipster.

He seemed to sense that you were staring, turning and squinting his eyes at you suspiciously. "Wwhat are you lookin' at?" You give him a blank look. "At you of course." He shrinks back in surprise, looking at you wide eyed. You blush. "Not like that!" He relaxes, but only slightly. "Ok, if you wweren't checkin' me out, then wwhat exactly is interestin' about me?" "We don't exactly see a fish man every day."

He seemed to be extremely irked. "I'm _not a fuckin' fish_. Nevver havve, nevver wwill, and certainly not because a these shitty fins wwill I be classified as such!" You hold your hands in surrender, not exactly sure how dangerous he is. "Ok dude, chill! If you're not a fish, then what exactly _are_ you?" He snorts. "I'm a seatroll, you moron. Wwhat else?" You shrug. "I don't really know what that is."

He stares at you in exasperation. "My expectancy for your knowwledge has plummeted. This is comin' from a guy wwho can control wwind, _rides a dragon_, _has __**mythical enemies**_, and uses _**fuckin' magical devvices**_ that can be potentially dangerous to _anyone_. Howw the **fuck** do you not knoww about _seatrolls_?" He… has a good point. How in the world do you not know about seatrolls? Yes, most of the stuff you learned through comic and TV shows, but how did you not _know_?

You are surprised when Jaalas gently whaps him on the head. "If you old ladies have stopped bickering, you should remember that trolls don't exist here, Eri." You both blink in surprise, though maybe for different reasons. Trolls don't exist here? As in, he doesn't live on Earth? You are even more surprised as he snorts back at her. "And you forget that wwe're not on Earth anymore, and it's not evven possible noww to be there unless wwe time travvel…. Wwhich is possible noww isn't it?"

You glance back and forth between them, confused. If they're not on Earth, then where- "-are we?" Oops, seemed like you spaced out for a bit, and Chase had beat you to asking that question. Jaalas turned to him, not really looking concerned. "Turns out, those meteors destroyed Earth just after we teleported." …You really became speechless at that.

She sees all of your shocked, disbelieving expressions. "What? Did you honestly think that we were still on Earth? How the fuck did you not know?! Those shitty meteors were the size of fucking Texas –not that there's anything wrong with it by the way- and you thought Earth survived those? Where _is_ your common sense? No, seriously, I want to know so that I can shove it up in your head and _make sure_ you understand it."

She looked very irritated, though you could really care less. This means…. Master Fung, your parents, your siblings….. are all gone? Omi seemed to have realized this, along with Kimiko and Clay, as he fell to his knees with a horrified expression. Poor guy, he really took this hard.

"HEHEHEHEHE!"

You whip around and glare at whoever giggled –seriously, who laughs at someone's misery?– but have your expression change into surprise and slight fear. What the heck is that thing? It looked like a cross between a ghost, a skeleton, and a white shadow and was headless! Seriously, what is that?! "You again?" You turn to Chase, who looked slightly annoyed. "You know that thing?!" He sighed, "It was the one who warned me about the large creatures."

"Mom?"

**Yes, I prototyped Jaalas' Mom, so what? It seemed fitting to do so since all of the trolls had done more or less the same. It was only fair! Not to mention she'll need the support later… Anyways, rate and review please!**

**P.S: To see what all the hullabaloo is all about of 'Stop SOPA', go to news/stop-sopa-2014-ugly-internet-censorship-bill-making-another-appearance. If you want to help stop sopa and help us keep all of our fanstuff, please sign at .gov/petition/stop-sopa-2014/q0Vkk0Zr. Please, I'm begging you! Help us!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Explanations and Exploring**

**== Be Jaalas.**

You don't care if they're staring. You don't _fucking __**care**_because your mom's **alive** and you think you're going to have a mental breakdown or cry and hug her to her second death, though you rather prefer the former because you don't want her dead again. Oh god, you feel over whelmed.

"HEHEHE, calm down Jaalas, I wasn't dead that long wasn't I?" You almost forgot how easily she loses track of time. "Mom, you have been dead for five sweeps!" She giggles, rubbing her cheek in mock embarrassment. "That long? I must have slept a lot in the glow caves then." You… are a little confused. "Glow caves?" She gives an excited flip, blushing an odd fuchsia. "Oh Jaalas, the afterlife is wonderful! You'd love the Pudding River!"

Your eyes widen. "They have pudding?!" She wags her tail in that 'tsk'ing motion she had the habit of doing, as if the question was foolish. "Of course Jaalas! It's the afterlife! It's like what those silly humans depicted it, except much, _much_ better!" She turns to the Xiaolin Brats, tilting her head down in apology. "No offence." They shrugged it off, with Raimundo actually shrugging in response. "I don't really believe in all that religion crap, so I don't really care."

"Anyways…" Chase seemed to be skeptical, though you don't exactly know why. "Why did you call this–" he points to your spritelion-mom, though mostly with curiosity. "_Mom?_" You burst out laughing, feeling Eridan join you as he trembles on your back. Huh, you're still holding him. You wonder when he'll ask to be put down…

"Just because I called her 'Mom' doesn't mean we're blood related (though I sort of wish we were). It just means she raised me since I was small until, well, you know. It's pretty much the same concept as an adoptive parent, except with more attachment." Your mom sniffles, making you give her a concerned look. "T-that was touching, J-Jaalas." …You almost forgot she was emotional as well. She then darts next to you, examining Eridan. "Hmmm." She circles him like a vulture, eyeing him critically as if she was estimating the size of a piece of meat –and you definitely remember her taking meat seriously, as you have followed her example with your precious pudding-.

She suddenly grins, snickering. "My, my Jaalas. I see you've got a keeper. Since when did you have a matesprit?" You feel your face heat up, and you're very sure that Eridan is in the same state. "I-It's not like that Mom! We're just friends! _Friends_ I tell you!" Eridan joins in, his accent predictably thick with embarrassment. "Wwe aren't like that, at all! Like Jaal said, wwe're just friends!"

Your mom pouts. "Aww, that's too bad. I really wanted to see my little grub all grown up! Oh well, I can always meddle. Maybe if I can get my hands on some Viagra–" "Mom!" Your voice cracked at your high pitched outburst, and you're sure your blush has spread to your ears. God, why did your mom have to be so perverted?! Just, why?

Eridan buries his head into your shoulder, probably in an attempt to hide his purple blush.

Yeah, you forgot that parents are always so _embarrassing_.

**== Jaalas, be the confused cheeseball.**

You are now the confused cheeseball, and you are, well, _confused_. As Jaalas talked with her Mom, they kept on using terms that you're not familiar with. Just why was she only referring you and your friends as humans, and not Jaalas? What is a matesprit? And what in the world is a Viagra? Maybe your friends know…

You tug on Kimiko's sleeve, having her turn and look down to meet your eyes. "What's a Viagra?"

**== Omi, be Kimiko.**

You're now Kimiko, and you're panicking. Dammit, why did Jaalas' mom have to be a pervert? If only she kept her mouth shut…

Deciding you don't want to go there you do your best, but most cliché response. "I'll tell you when you're older." "But, Kimiko! I am old enough to save the world, yet not old enough to learn what it is?!" Dammit he's persisting, what should you say?! Luckily, or you hope so, Jaalas steps in. "Omi, you have to be at least fifteen or female to know that stuff!"

Ok, you're not sure where she's directing this, but you see a glint of understanding pass through Raimundo's eyes as he pats Omi's head. "Yeah little dude, didn't you know? Boys aren't allowed to know that stuff until fifteen. It's simply a rule that must be known and respected!" Eridan seemed to have caught on as he leaned his head on her shoulder. "Evven I knoww that."

Omi, though, didn't seem to be placated. "But then, why did you start blushing?" You inwardly panic, knowing he had a great point. He didn't even look older than Omi, and his reaction had definitely shown that he knew. Thankfully, he played it off in a hurried fashion.

"A course I wwas blushin'! They wwere talkin' about somethin' that us four aren't supposed to knoww!" "Oohhhh…" Finally, he was sated. Thank the frickin' god.

**== Kimiko, be Jaalas.**

You are Jaalas, and you think you have just done them a favor. Meh, a twelve year old shouldn't know about that kind of stuff anyway, especially one like Omi's case. God, how in the world is he so sheltered?

Now that the situation is handled you turn to Chase. "Anyways what did you mean by 'you again'?" He sighed, pinching his nose. "Because your mother was the one who warned us in the first place about those creatures." Ah, that explains it. "So that's why you were all gathered up? I thought you guys were going to do your own thing after I left." He gives you a look. "We would if you haven't been knocked over the cliff by a hunk of metal that should have killed you. Not to mention you were nowhere in sight when we actually went to look for you."

You giggle. "Aw, Chasey-Wasey cared about me? How sweet." "I was dragged along for your information. My consent was dubious and, therefore, _not_ intentional." He snipped back quickly. You laugh at him, tickled fuchsia at the defensive look he expressed.

After calming down, you notice that your mom had disappeared, making you blink in surprise. It's weird that she hasn't gained any patience _at all_ since she died. "Same old mom all right…" You crane your neck back, catching Eridan's eyes. "Ready to go back?" "A course! The cookies should havve cooled by noww!" You grin as you punch in the coordinates. "Ok, back to the LOWAA!" "LOWWAA?"

You giggled at his confused expression. "Land of Wrath and Angels. The scaly assholes _were_ very angry." He chuckles. "True that." You turn to the Xiaolins and Chase. "Well goodbye! I'll probably come back, though I still say you should explore this place! Who knows, you might get some useful information from the locals!"

The scene flashed back to the kitchen, the cookies and empty cups right where you left them. Placing Eridan down, you dash to the fridge, yank out the milk, and pour some in each cup. Giving Eridan one of the cups, you grin at him. "Let the consumption of cookies commence!"

**== A delicious batch later…**

You and Eridan were leaning against each other in content, sleepy from the full stomachs of warm cookies. God, they were so good! Though, as you yawn, you noticed that Eridan had fallen asleep. You smile and, with a stroke of sentimentality, tuck a misplaced bang behind his fins. He's so cute when he's asleep, it just makes you want to squeal. Though you refrain from doing so because you really don't want to wake him.

Carefully, you shift him in your arms and piggyback him again, carrying Eridan to his respiteblock and gently settle him in his recuperacoon –not without taking off his cape, scarf, and shoes of course–. You wish you could snuggle up with him, but you rather not risk hurting him because of a shitty bad dream. Oh well, you can try to figure out where exactly all of you had transported to. Maybe the game guide will know.

**== Jaalas, read Section 3.**

Opening up your laptop and clicking on the saved book mark, you begin to read.

_**Section 3: Kernelprites, Consorts, and Lands**_

_Now, you're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about here, but you'll need to know this as you progress through this game. _

_**Kernelsprites**__: Kernelsprites are basically the floating balls of black and blue that are released from the Cruxtruder after you open it. They eventually would become regular Sprites by being prototyped twice. Yes, __**twice**__. By combining the kernelsprites with inanimate objects or living/formerly living beings, the objects or beings become the sprite, who are given knowledge about Sburb and your personal quest. After the first prototyping, the sprites simply appear as sparking, floating heads. However, after the second prototyping (also called hatching, special prototyping, etc.) they gain a ghostly form possessing a tail. Despite their name, appearance, and abilities, they have been confirmed to be corporeal, meaning they are considered alive. Sprites are pretty much your undead guide, but they can't accompany you as you go through The Seven Gates until you have unlocked the ability to do so. You will know you have unlocked said ability once the sprite gives you a pendant to which you can use to summon it. Apparently, they are drawn to the Battlefield at a certain point for unknown reasons, but make sure they have served their purpose, that of which you'll figure out later._

_Note: These beings can die, so try not to drag them in impossibly deadly situations._

_Though the ability to convey the information is limited by the intelligence of the sprite, which is also limited to that of its composing parts, they are __**supposed**__ to be coy about the information, only stating it vaguely, in riddles, or when it's deemed appropriate. But be warned, they can have holes in their knowledge, especially in regards to the Denizens and the Choices they offer._

_Note from the author: This is all I can say for now, the subject of this is pretty new to me as well, so excuse me if you find unmentioned parts to this guide. Maybe you can check out it's wiki?.._

Okay you should have probably skipped that since you have already read it, but you might as well keep reading since you have already done that anyways.

_**Consorts**__: Now consorts are another story. These amphibious/reptilian guys vary dramatically in each player's planet. In each player's session, they each are transported to their customized lands (You can learn more about these after this). The consorts are usually stupid, but they can perform tasks the server player and client player could do. Known consorts include the salamanders, the turtles, the crocodiles, and the iguanas. Each sort of consorts have a created religion that differs from each planet, though they all worship the Genesis Frog, which is evidenced by monuments of frogs and –if they're friendly– their nonsensical chatter._

_Beware: The consorts may be easily angered (whether it be from personality or grudges), so please don't bother them to the point they are chasing you down._

_Note: If they start alchemizing shit with your grist, it's advised you keep them away/locked out of reach from the Alchemiter._

_**Lands:**__ Yes, lands. They are the places where pretty much you and your fellow players are transported to. The medium (a whole different universe that exists) holds these lands. Truthfully, each one are actually planets located all around this universe. Each session would have their own mediums (along with their own planets), but they all serve the purpose of helping you to create a new universe (though not in the way you expect) while each planet has something to do with the player's title and personality –well, not always…-. As you fight your customized opponents and receive their provided grist, you must build upward towards the gates above where you have transported, which would give you access to a certain place in your own planet and your fellow player's respective planets. Oddly enough, you can still receive electricity and internet access, maybe with the possibility that the game provides these so there won't be unnecessary handicaps._

_Warning: The consorts provided with these lands can be dangerous and/or aggressive, so if they start to attack you, screw it and run from/destroy them._

_The lands may be… reality bending, but you must become used to this since you will be residing there for some time unless you get off your ass and actually start trying to progress._

_Your Quest Beds are provided here as well to give you the choice to reach God Tier, but it's your choice alone if you want to reach it. _

Huh, that actually explains a lot about those weird blue designs. Seeing as this also includes you, you most likely have the same things above the mansion. At least the Xiaolins and Chase will have a way to explore. Though, you wonder when they'll realize that they have to battle those creatures…

Anyways, you can see the sun coming up in the horizon. Soon, Eridan would wake up and you're feeling in the mood to cook. Maybe you can cook some omelets for breakfast…

**== Jaalas, be the sleepy fishboy.**

You are now the sleepy fishboy, and you smell cooking eggs and that human meat that you think is called bacon. It's a pretty welcome smell, especially since your gastric sac is now making its emptiness known. You really would like to see what Jaalas is making, but you don't want to track sopor slime all over the floor between you and the kitchen. Well, off to the ablution trap you go!

You haul yourself out of the recuperacoon, thankful that the slime slides off rather easily. Jaalas must have settled you in your recuperacoon when she saw you fall asleep. Really, she can act like a lusis sometimes, though you wouldn't ever change anything about her for the world, even her odd quirks.

After cleaning up, putting on a new set of clothes and the rest of your accessories that Jaalas put aside on, you make your way to the preperationblock. By the smell of it, you can tell that she had done a great job with the presumed omelets. This thought is hardened when you enter the preperationblock and see her happily eating one of the omelets she set on the counter. Noticing you enter, she smiles. "Good morning Eri. Did you sleep well?"

You smile back as you take a seat next to her, taking the other omelet and retrieving an offered a fork. "Mornin', I slept that long? And yes I did." She giggles as you dig in, happy to discover that she had a mix of bacon, cheese, and tomatoes stuffed inside the fluffy, delicious food. If the humans were stupid enough not to give her a degree on cooking, you would flip them the bird and blast them with your Ahab's Crosshairs. God, this is good.

Once you finish, and finished blushing after she wiped your face from some tomato juice –not a grub damn it- , you two settled down on the couch. "So," you lean forward, resting your head on your hands. "wwhat exactly should wwe do? It's not really progressivve if wwe just sit around like broodin' cluckbeasts." She crosses her legs and mimics you, grinning. "Well, while you were sleeping, I reviewed that Game Guide I told you about. Remember those weird designs we saw above your hive?" You nod, not really seeing any relevance to the subject. Her grin widens. "Turns out those things are portals to the other's worlds or 'lands'. We all are pretty much in a universe called the medium, which of course contains all of us in it." You let out a long whistle. Looks like you might have a lot of exploring to do.

She stands up, taking out her cabinet again, and shifts through the bottom drawer. "A good plan would be to finish this session first, go back in time to the Brats and Chase's location, and then finish my own session. So-" She brings out two sylladex cards that held large guns, rocket launchers you believe. "we are going to have to find the final boss and defeat him, but not before getting everyone together and finding out a few things."

You raise an eyebrow. "But wwhat exactly wwould wwe need to find out? The concept for noww is just beatin' the game, right?" "Well," she gives the card to you and shifts through another drawer. "Yes and no. Yes, it's required to finish the game, but no we have to build another universe to live in. The problem of why we need to look for answers is because (1. I don't exactly know the details on how to accomplish that. (2. The Game Guide had limited information that doesn't explain everything and seeing as my mom's never in one place and your lusis has disappeared, we won't be getting that information anytime soon unless we go look for it. (3. I wanted to find out what that 'God Tier' level is all about. It sounded like something that could help us win this game, but…"

She pauses, looking to the ground in suspicion. "The way that the information was put had hinted either it had a side effect or lasted even after the game or…" She lets the thought hang, making you feel nervous. By how she was acting, this is something to be cautious about and you know this since the subject actually got her on guard.

She captchalogued the cabinet again before laying out the objects that she had gotten out. So far, it was the rocket launcher, a first aid kit, a barrel of pudding –go figure–, some ammo for the rocket launcher, a stretch of rope, and two bottles of water. Huh, this is going to be a quite a journey. "The rocket launcher and ammo is mostly for in case purposes for like, let's say, if we lose our primary weapons and/or one of us is knocked out. In the case we get minor to mild injuries, the kit should have everything we need. The food obviously is supposed to last us until for a few days. And the water is just in case we end up in a very hot place. Any questions?"

You shake your head summoning out your weapon. She grins and captchalogues everything in one card. "Good. Now–" She points off towards the road leading to the town from before. "LET'S GO!"

**== Eridan, be Chase.**

After considering their options, you and the Xiaolins decided to take Jaalas' advice and investigate exactly where you are. The Xiaolins of course will take Dojo down to the ground in an attempt to find any intelligent locals. Which seems unlikely since the residents, also called consorts, are supposedly stupid. It wouldn't kill them to try though, unless they're hostile. You on the other hand will investigate the gates that the guide had mentioned. You figured you will end up below like the Xiaolins in the first gate, but you are curious about the others. As far as you know, no one else was playing with Jaalas or was her server player –with the possible exception of Eridan of course–.

Seeing as the Imps were the only source of available grist, the Xiaolins had given them a tearful apology and eradicated them quickly. The poor, foolish creatures never knowing exactly what hit them until it was over. On the bright side, you have enough grist to make enough stairs to wind up and around the portals, thus making easy access to anyone who can't jump as high as you or doesn't have the option of flight.

Looking at the gate makes you a little uneasy, but you buck up and decide to enter by jumping in feet first. You just hope you don't appear above lava…

After a few seconds in the air, though, tells you two things.

1. The universe, or at least this one, hates you immensely.

2. Turns out Jaalas had at least one other player who shared the session since you see a blond haired, shade wearing boy currently conversing with an orange feathery version of himself…

After luckily landing on a surfacing gear, you examine the world around you. Of course you had to pick a landless world that's covered with magma that only has these mechanical, probably very hot to the touch, structures that was currently spewing out lava. You notice that the boy had noticed you, or at least you think he did since he stopped talking to the crocodile and started to head towards you.

You wait for him until he stops just a foot away from you, giving you a better look at him as he examines you as well. He was wearing on odd, but somewhat cool suit that consisted of a red, fuzzy shirt and coat that had a broken disk on the right breast pocket, red pants, black dress shoes, and a red bow tie. He was currently holding a broken sword that looked like it was glowing. His face was emotionless, though that may be the effect of the large shades he wore. What an odd one indeed.

"Sup." You blink in confusion. "Hey…?" The orange version of him speaks up. "Is it me or is this dude not supposed to be here, like, not actually supposed to be in the game?" The other boy turned to him, slightly raising his eyebrows. "Oh fuck, don't tell me we're in an offshoot timeline again." "If that's the case, then one of the trolls probably fucked up." "Shit, that sucks like a deprived man in a ball sucking Olympics, and he's all like 'I need to do this man, I need this.' And the judges can't decide if he's disqualified because of how desperate he is."

You have a feeling that you'll have your hands full for a while.

**== Chase, be Omi.**

You are, to say, stupefied. The world below Jaalas' mansion is very… dreamlike. Glassy, light blue trees and mushrooms brightened the dark gray rock below, which you see is imbedded with many sized tubes. Twitching and walking about are imps of many types and yellow salamanders that were popping bubbles every now and then, though they seemed to keep within their own groups.

Looking back were you left Chase, you can see two long columns of land which was cleared from the clouds. Huh, looked like whoever was that had that car fall on Jaalas was well off. You wonder if they are one of her fellow players….

As Dojo circles around the sky, you see something smoking in the distance, something… not supposed to be smoking. Dojo, probably seeing the smoke, darts towards the location, which soon made your eyes widen. A whole village covered in black sludge and grist was on fire, having the residential salamanders and a boy panic at the sight…. Wait, boy?

You watch as he takes out a large, black and white can –which is oddly shaped like one of those fruit gushers you like- that read 'Barbosel' and throws it at the fire…. Which bursts into bigger flames that covers more of the surrounding area. As a natural reaction, the salamanders and boy panic even more, cowering away from the flames. Wow, who knew that was flammable?

Probably tired of watching a fail of putting out fire, your friend Raimundo sends a gust of wind over the town, immediately extinguishing the flames. You also watch as the salamanders gather into a crowd, pick up the boy, and balance him on top of their heads, bubbling gleefully as they jumped up and down. The boy looked awfully dumbstruck, but you guess he's alright since they seemed to be cheering for him, even though it was Raimundo who saved them.

Then again, the guide did say they were not all that smart, so you guess it's alright.

You and your friends shrug it off, beckoning Dojo to keep on flying, though it doesn't stop you from looking back and seeing the boy pull out a stone slab out of thin air. Huh, maybe the sylladex is exclusive to Sburb players then, but why did Jaalas lie about that? Maybe you can ask her once she appears again.

You continue your survey of the land, wanting to make sure you don't miss a thing about this wondrous world.

**Okay, tell me if I have done badly on any part of Dave's appearance so I can correct that soon. I really can't do personalities, especially Dave's, well. So, please be honest with me and comment.**


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: BEEP! BEEP! MEOW! Coming Through!

== Be Jaalas.

You are now Jaalas, and you

Taking Eridan by the hand in excitement, you hurridly make your way to the tallest tent, which was at least twice the size of the Spicer mansion, not counting the red flag that whipped around in the nonexistent breeze. Just likeAlright, alright. But only !So, what should we sing now? Definitely not rock or pop, they just wouldnCarnival of ? ** Your smile widens to the point that yout split in two. **

**You position yourself in the to the left side of the trampoline, keeping your head down and arms loose, seeing Eridan do the same at the opposite side. Clicking the play button, the music starts up in the steady pace of an organ, that of which you started to sing. **

Tooku kara, kikoeru, naniyara tanoshige na, oto nikutarashii ne!Yada yo, zurui yo

**Eridan joined in, giving jerky yet fluid swaying of his hips and hands. **

**You and Eridan had then joined arms, bounding around in circles before doing the same going the other way. **

**You started to leap from pole to pole, getting higher and higher as you and Eridan spunaround ech other, landing ontop of the poles. **

KAANIBARU zutto KAANIBARU odorenai kedo!

KAANIBARU zutto KAANIBARU kuyashii kara!

Mitakunai shiritakunai

dakedo mite shimau sonna mon desho,

hito no nioi to, shitto to yokubou!Doko ni mo omatsuri ga nai nara koko de hitori odorou kana!

hanayaka na PAREEDO yokome ni -yubi o kajitta!Hitori asobi hitori ga suki hitorikiri hitori wa iya

dareka to, dareka to dareka to -dare mo inai!Saa-saa hajimaru KAANIBARU kodoku no MERII GOO RAUNDO!

Kuru-kuru mawatta ureshii tanoshii samishii!Saa-saa hajimaru KAANIBARU, makka na MERII GOO RAUNDO!

Kuru-kuru mawatta hakike mo itoshii!

Sawagou KAANIBARU, makka na MERII GOO RAUNDO,

ochite gucha gucha no jibun o waraou yo!Ureshii tanoshii samishii~

**You both spin with each other, stopping to face opposite sides and bowing dramaticly. **

**The lights went out in time with the last note, giving a final dramatic effect that just seemed perfect. Though you were scared shitless when you heard loud clapping coming from the seating area, making you jerk up and see a lone, shadowy figure move towards you. A figure that looked really familiars many miracles. Motherfucking shit, if you knew that you were about to be the audience of these motherfuckint help but clap for their performance. Fuck, who wouldn And the taller one you can easily recognize as Eridan, Feferire sure you know her name but whatt seen her since a sweep or two ago. Wonder how she got here? **

**Plastering on a grin, you give one of you lazy drawls. t you, motherfucker! How She grins back at you widely, placing her hands behind her head in a relaxed way. m surprised that no one **

**You frown at that. Seems like she didn**All these motherfuckint want to leave their trailers. It** She frowns as well, agreeing with you. s here now? Did something happen?**I think it to do with this motherfucker called the Bard of Rage, though I hadn** You watch her and Eridan exchange puzzled expressions, faces scrunched up in thought. **Maybe we should visit the others, they might have an idea what

**You blink back at her. She smiles, shaking her head. s these portals that look like weird flowers that should be above your house. They connect to the other You give her a grateful smile. **

**She laughs as she watches you go, giving a lazy wave. t eat too much Gamzee! And good luck!s pretty cool for a highblood, especially compared to other ones you have met. Though because of your pretend status did you keep contact with him at minimum, mostly just so you don **

**You turn to Jaalas, raising an eyebrow. She rubbed the back of her head, giving an embarrassed chuckle. She drooped, her head hanging below her shoulders. t want to land in.t she? You head towards the direction Gamzee went slowly, hearing her panic behind you before dashing back to the karaoke machine, captchaloguing it, and running back towards you. m not slow, I just like to take my time!t trade her for the world. **

**== Eridan, be Jaalas. **

**After traveling in the same direction Gamzee went, you and Eridan finally found his houset noticed this, you mean, it hardly took twenty five minutes to get here! Oh well, might as well be thankful that it didns house. **

**Speaking of the silly clown, you donre assuming he already went ahead and jumped into one of them. Yous worlds will be likes (and possibly yours), there where twelve of these gates that lined up high above the tent and beyond, each giving off a warm blue glow. Since you want to visit everyone, you think yous killing you just thinking of the possibility of who you**Hey, Eridan?Yes?Letll see you knoww vvery wwell that I suck at bets! Wwhy do you want to bet anywways?Because I

**You see him slump into the ground in surrender. t you wwait until wwe You smile sweetly at him, knowing he can**Nope, now bet with me!Alright, but wwhat do I get if I wwin?I** He shot back up to his feet, looking at you with surprise. re sure about that Jaal? Doesnoh, I don You pat his head reassuringly, having him melt against your hand. **

**t worry, I doubt there will be any big complications in the future, so I wouldnll be spending the rest of my time with you instead of the Brats and Chase.s odd how that calms you down, though you rather not think about why they do. t be in any trouble if they do what they do bests home.**So, who do you wager is behind the gate?t leave your hand. that he** Removing your hand **I guess I wager Sollux.s fins droop. s not him. I really don

**You chuckle again as you take his hand and tug him towards the gate, causing him the drag behind you as you draw nearer. Seconds later you find yourself suspended high in the air, making you and Eridan clutch to each other tightly as you hurtled to the land below you. **

**== Jaalas, be Karkat. **

**You are now Karkat, and so far, the universe has proven to you again that it hates you immensely. One minute you were following Jack into one of the many temples that littered this pathetic wasteland of red rivers re flattened like a grubcake when a bundle of white and purple crashes into you from above. Seriously, who the fuck had the idea of using you as a landing pad? **

**Now all three of you are tangled in a mess of limbs, heavy clothes, and cursing, trying to break apart and possibly calm the fuck down. Of course, a freaking cape that was wrapped tightly around your arm had to be attached around someoneoh god you think he his writhing isn You almost choked a highblood. Ohgodohgodohgodohgod, you hope he isns companionyous a she because of her soft features, despite her companion. She looked a lot like a troll, except she was pure white s saying something. She actually seemed familiar**You again? I thought you just vanished into thin air! Before bursting into laughter. You watch as she clutches her stomach, rolling around on the ground in laughter. You couldns her problem? Hearing a sigh next to you, you whip your head towards the sound, more specifically the highblood.

He looked like a mix of a weird hipster and a grubll give him that. Especially with that obnoxious purple streak in his hair and thick glasses that actually made his eyes look bigger. Het make you feel any better that you still have a diminished short stature. You watch him scratch his head in exasperation as he watches his friend laugh, making you catch the sight of the many rings adorning his fingers. God, how is he moving his fingers so easily?

He turns to you, giving you a half smile. are you Sol?Er, no, sorry to disappoint. IBEEP! BEEP! MEOW!** s really starting to concern you. Are you finally starting to crack? Is this all an illusion? The increased volume of the Jaalas**Hell. Fuckint havve to wwear a dress!ThatSorry about that. What he means is that we had a bet to see who we would meet next. I had betted Sollux while he had with we currently had no money with us, the loser would just receive punishment. He of course had to attend with me on a tea party wearing a dress and I..Why, why? My puddingre not morails, yous hard to not watch without tearing up at this, you mean, this is just so pale.

They seemed to have noticed your dilemma as they started to show concerned panic towards you. s the matter?Did we do something wrong?Please tell me wwe hadn** You shake your head, feeling a little uncomfortable as they fussed over you. What the fuck are they? Lusi?... Well, the white one may be half lusi since shes beside the point. Right now, you feel like a piece of shit for interrupting their moment just because you felt overemotional at their display. God, yout you? **

**Dammit, this kind of thinking s not helping at all, especially now your eyes are streaming tearst to seem to notice that you You really dont notice re including you in their possible morailship. Seriously, what exactly are they? **

**You calmed down anyway after a while of pap-ing and shoosh-ing, having your god-awful blubbering fade away and leave you in your confusion. Ok, just what the fuckt know if I did them well or not, so please tell me how I can improve. You might be wondering where Jack (The alternate version of Spades Slick, not Spicer) is during all of this, but I will make his appearance next chapter, so hold on till next week! And, without further ado, review and rate!**


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